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I wish I was mortal by ZizanChan (critique requested)

I wish I was mortal (critique requested)

ZizanChan

It was an early Friday morning. She silently landed on the cooling magma ground and started scouting the area for any movement.

"There is nothing new about this place," she thought to herself, "home, just like it's always been."

She almost preferred it when it's empty. This strange solitude - just her, and the destructive power that took away everything she ever loved..

No.

She never loved it. She never loved anyone. Or anything.

This place. A place of brilliant flames - if anyone could see it without the cost of their loves, they would love it so much! Anyone other than demons, of course. Demons do not feel. Well, they did, but they were trained not to. Feelings are what betray us in the end. They always lead to our destruction. Because of this, to demons this place is just like any other.

Distracted by her thoughts, the demoness got a bitter taste in her mouth. Hesitating, she spit out the red can she's been clinging to ever since summoning a portal to this place. To her home. Hesitating because she thought that taking a sip or two might burn her from the inside, making her task end sooner.

As she watched the plastic can roll around the heated ground, she almost wished it would just ignite right then and there, ending everything. But she still had her task.

"Better get started, I guess."

She pounced on to the can, almost like in her younger days, fun, playful, as if it was prey thats about to escape from her. She tried to use her claws to gently undo the cork, but having no thumbs really got in the way. Fed up with this suspense she dug her fangs into the heated, now soft plastic and chewed one corner open.

The terrible smell filled her nostrils. If there was anything she hated more than the smell of flowers on a summer evening, it was the foul smell of gasoline. Not letting the increasingly hot liquid touch her tongue, she grabbed the cans intact side and, slightly tilting it, started walking in circles.

A few moments later she stopped. Was it her mind playing tricks on her, or did she actually see it? A spark? No, no, this is not right! She wasn't done yet! She started panicking. Her breathing grew faster, she was trembling and her heart started beating like crazy. She could have sworn she even felt sweat drops on the back of her neck. She let go of the can, which bounced off the ground, splashing gasoline all over her dusty coat.

"No!" she screamed and tried to get into the air, but as she spread her wings, she noticed the gasoline at her feet. The smell of smoke had started filling her lungs and as her breaths started getting more and more shallow, she slided on to the wet ground.

Hesitantly opening her eyes to look at her surroundings once more, she turned her head to the cracking sound of burning stone. The spark she had seen earlier had turned into a fire, much larger than herself, and it was coming at her at an unimaginable speed.

"No.." she whispered,

"this is not.. enough..

this will not..

end me.."

As the fire surrounded her in a numb embrace, she closed her eyes, hoping never to have to open them again.

I don't.. actually.. write..

Like, ever..

But uh.

Yeah.

Enjoy..? Or.. something? I don't know. ;;

Btw I used "she" so much cause she doesn't have a name yet. So yeah.

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