Endless Vigil by Zaivinx

Endless Vigil


24 April 2020 at 18:13:36 MDT

[late cross-post from DA - I'm doing better now!]

This has symbolism, it was nice to take such a heavy emotion and channel it in some way that isn't a breakdown.
I specifically tried to just...draw. Go for it. Don't think.
I set my stabilizer very low and used a brush without pressure sensitivity for line weight.

[CW/TW: grief]
Grief hit me without warning the other day.
It's difficult and it hurts in a way I lack words for.
I've had what is basically a continuous headache for two days.
Thinking feels confusing, trying to form sentences feels fuzzy, I cannot think of the next word as easily and it makes my speech choppy.
Everything feels like a haze, almost like drifting through life is only a dream.
My losses happened a few years ago but they were all close to me and were all lost in just under a year.
It still hits me every now and then.

Grief feels like an endless vigil
No matter how much you "get over it", you can never escape it completely.
It is painful, perhaps beautiful in its own way, a testament of the bond you shared with another
A nagging memory of mortality, that we are only here now, and how important that truly is

Submission Information

Visual / Digital