Jeffery by WhimsicalSquirrel



13 May 2019 at 15:26:34 MDT

Jeffery's made some movies.

And it's funny, a few years back, he figured the fact that he likes guys would be the hardest thing to tell his folks. Maybe if he hadn't told them about both at once they would have taken the news a little better. A far cry from the lawyer or doctor they had envisioned. Fortunately for Mr. and Mrs. Heller, they have several children to fall back on, so with an obligatory nod in Jeff's direction during holidays, they can quickly move on to directing the neighbors' attention to the other kids. They did at least manage to push him into computers while he was still in college. Regardless of what happens, they can take some comfort in knowing he didn't make every single decision, himself.

So it mostly gathers dust in the back of Jeffery's mind. What's done is done and after his time in the business he'd had so many new experiences, met so many amazing people. Did you know that even non-rabbits could be smart and lovely people? Who knew! Jeff had never been raised to think so but he'd had a few inklings. It was so different to have fun. Jeffery definitely recommends fun. It's just too bad he decided to go for that teaching degree only after becoming a social media star. They do love his leftwing snark, except when they didn't. Even if he tried to hide Jeffery Winterbottom's face behind Jeffery Heller's glasses, somebody on the other side of the spectrum would surely take pleasure in exposing him, ruining his career likely before it began because body parts exist. Hell with the way things are now, the kids themselves would probably recognize him even faster. And, try as he might, nobody ever did seem to remember his old, last name. Not even his parents.

But that's alright because Julius has the cutest goddamn ears that Jeffery's ever seen. Sure, long-ears weren't supposed to be complimenting lops, all the non-bunnies of the world do more than enough of that. That's why he had to retire. It was fun to play to the camera with hunk after hunk but he'd given this a try before, and the real-life boyfriends never did manage to separate the make-believe. Julius is worth it and even if mom and dad haven't sent a card in a while, even if he never catches up to that dream job of telling the kids about all the cool stuff in space, there's somebody to swipe the blanket away, somebody to transfer a head cold onto, somebody to narrowly beat him into the shower, somebody to tell about all the cool stuff in space.

Jeffery swears on his stack of comics that nothing will ever matter more than that. Except perhaps for the comics themselves

This place doesn't seem any less dead than the last time I performed for the crickets. But whatever, we'll give it a very brief try with some clean art which is DOA no matter where you post it.

Submission Information

Visual / Other


  • Link

    Oh good, it's already fucking up my formatting. Well that's about as much as I was willing to put up with for this Kmart Parking Lot.