My first memory of Ruffy is a weirdly specific one that comes from a project that I was doing ages back, pairing up people's characters with mine for a series of pictures. That's where I first remember talking to him. I've known Ruffy the longest out of my friends, and over the years, we've both changed and grown a lot--except for height. I'm still short.

I'm not sure how to summarize keypoints that I appreciate about him, because there's so much ground to cover. We started out as pretty casual friends and over the years become closer. As friends do. I have a lot of fond memories, and weird memories. Weird fond memories.

Like I remember I had never met him in person before, nor gone anywhere by myself before (like even to a local hotel.) let alone out of state, or on planes, and yet I thought it was a great idea to go to AC, across the entire USA, by myself, to meet up with a guy I'd never met before and stay in a hotel room with him.

I genuinely wonder what the heck I was thinking, looking back. I don't regret it though. It was just entirely out of character for me. Anyway that is one of the earlier big interactions I recall. And then how I promptly regretted coming and freaked out the first night and absolutely froze all night long because I refused to stop hiding behind my luggage. 8I ahhh good times. But no AC was amazing and I have Ruffy to thank for helping me navigate through the whole scene even if I was an absolute weirdo at first. XDXD had a ton of fun.

I see Ruffy as a support pillar. My own life is a complete savage sea and has been for quite a while. It's been violently swaying this way and that and it's hard to find stability, consistency, security etc. Ruffy has been with me every step of the way, helping out however he can. Financially, emotionally, physically. I am absolutely spoiled with what underwear and socks I want to wear now hahaha. And like non jokingly sometimes it's such a relief, because I already feel terrible. So being able to be physically as comfortable as possible amidst it all is deeply appreciated and some nights as I'm dragging myself around on my floor as I do, probably feeling a little down, I see a pair of my fuzzy monster socks and slip them on and it's a moment of "yesssssss comfort eue." It's the little things that keep you sane. Respect your monster socks everyone.

I can trust Ruffy with anything and I know that he'll fight for me when I'm too weak to do it myself. I've become quite the anxiety riddled basket case over the years and without all the support from my friends and family, I think I very well may have given up.

I don't talk as much about it online because it's get redundant, but my health is extremely poor, and it has been getting poorer and poorer. 2019 was an absolute crudfest. I've been in doctors' offices and hospitals more than I've been home it feels like and when I'm at home I'm in agony and can barely stay awake and function. It sucks. I hate it. I like to create. But it is what it is right now. I fight it as much as I can and keep moving along.

Also quite a few years back now, my closest friends at the time, ditched me quite abruptly. It was shocking and for awhile I was nearly flying solo. Not to say I didn't have people to talk to or friends or anything. But as far as like really close friends went, I just had none, and honestly I really wasn't interested in looking for new ones. I was feeling pretty jaded. Pretty cynical. Pretty much everyone only cares about themselves anyway and are just going to leave so why even waste the effort just to get hurt and feel empty.

That if course changed and as life goes, new people entered my life. Ruffy was there all along and I certainly grew closer to him in the meantime but like any relationship it takes time to build and grow and for that closer bond to form. Ruffy has been through a lot of situations with me and provided guidance and a place to hide from a whole variety of dramas. It's hard to summarize all of what he's done for me but like he's just always there haha. I can go frolic up a post at the docks, figuratively speaking, and he's there to catch me when I inevitably fall or hide behind when the world becomes too scary.

And on a lighter side note that, we have a lot of fun. He puts in a whole lot of work to come see me in person and tote me around to grand adventures or just hang out at the house, go to BLFC, whatever. I enjoy his companionship.



I was feeling like at the end of this year that hey, I actually do really have a good bunch of friends. Like an actual really good group of people. Aaaand them some stuff happened and that thought absolutely blew up in my face, complete slap to the face. (Not related to any of the pictures you see me making here of my amazing friends.)

It got me extremely down and for a few moments the tantalizing idea of going lone wolf and keeping closed off from people returned. It tends to be my go to in response to being hurt. 'You can't hurt me if I don't let you in' mentality. It all took place literally in the middle of my realization of having good friends too and it absolutely triggered awful memories and fears. But I quickly shook that off, because these are my friends. They've shown me love and support and loyalty and just because some other people turned out to be not at all what they claimed to be, is absolutely no reason for me to inadvertently punish them by pulling away when they've done nothing wrong. We take risks in relationships. It's part of life. We get close and we risk getting hurt, but sometimes we find something amazing.

These people have all my respect, love, loyalty and of course, friendship. I am absolutely honored to have each one in my life. I treasure them all. Also I was reaffirmed and encouraged because amidst the crud that went down this December, they all stayed strongly at my sides, supporting me the whole way and I was honestly shocked at the intensity of what an emotional stronghold they formed around me.

So this year, as small as it may seem, I decided that I'd make some of my closest friends some icons. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but in my present health state it took me two months of pretty consistent work. Sometimes I'm not very good at expressing my feelings. I'm shy and I tend to chicken out, thinking what I'm saying is dumb or something. I show my affection through work usually. Ie, the icons. I put a lot of love and thought into all of them and I know they're not much, but they're tokens of my love and friendship. And I even tried to say words this time too. Hopefully it didn't turn out too bad.



And to all of you guys, my watchers and supporters out there. You guys are awesome too. I wish I had enough time and limbs to make things for so many more of you. I physically can't but it certainly doesn't mean that I don't think about it and wish I could. I'm going to try and be around this coming year more frequently, I'm just still trying to figure out a new rythmn and method to work with all the changes in my life. Happy Holidays guys. May yours be merry and bright! Thank you for all your support and time!

Ruffy belongs to http://www.furaffinity.net/user/ruffy