Blizzard
by Trejaan

The fire in the hearth cast a deep golden glow throughout the hunting lodge, playing over the richly carved furniture. Gustavus had told us that each generation of his family to occupy the lodge had contributed a piece... the dining table we had just finished eating at had been made by his own paws. We were all gathered around the fire now on chairs, a sofa or piles of skins.

The tension of the day was still there. Captain Briggs had held his tongue after I had made my feelings on the matter clear to him. These men were not only our hosts, but my friends. I would NOT have the labrador come into their home and insult them! So, he had remain "civil" but conspicuously silent as the rest of us chatted and Brooke had played with little Virchen. All evening, he had pretended that he saw nothing wrong. He had replied when spoken to in clipped tones, but his words had been friendly enough. I didn't notice the way in which Mikhail watched him; never saying anything. Everything was tranquil enough. I should have know that wouldn't last. Surprisingly, it wasn't the captain who broke that silence.

I'd been idly listening to the conversation Delilah and Will were having when I heard Mikhai's voice. "Captain, may I ask you why my relationship with Master Konstatin upsets you so?"

For a moment, the only sounds in the lodge were those of the fire and the baby snow leopard's giggles. I turned to stare at the fox unable to believe my own ears. Briggs too looked somewhat stunned at the sudden question. His mouth opened and closed a few times with no sound coming out. Then he turned a nervous eye to me. I was still so stunned myself that I believe I only nodded dumbly in response.

Finally, the retriever's eyes flicked to the floor and he carefully said, "It's nothing, sir."

"It is obviously something," pressed Mikhail. After a second, he glanced around the room at all of us. "Please. I believe that every man and woman is entitled to their own beliefs. I would truly like to know what yours are."

Again, the captain's eye sought mine. This time I gave him a glare that left no doubt that I'd made my feelings on the matter understood.

The fox gave me an equally strong look and said, "Don't mind Luther. He may be low-born and ill-mannered, but he wouldn't begrudge you speaking your mind when I invite it." His voice was warm and amused, but the look he gave me wasn't. "Please, speak plainly. It is best that we have no secrets. I promise that we shall take no offense."

Time seemed to slow. I was aware of Delilah, Will and Cuthbert on one side of me; Brooke on the other with Virchen. (the snow leopard had take advantage of Brooke's distraction and was chewing on the girl's ear) All eye's were fixed on Captain Briggs.

The black hound straightened his collar as he considered. Then, at last he seemed to find his voice. "To be completely honest, in keeping with your request, sir... I believe that two men, raising a child is..." Again his eyes glanced my way but hurried on, without making contact with mine. "...immoral!"

I was aware of a growl building in the back of my throat and the fur rising under my own collar.

Mikhail simply turned to me and said, "Hush." He then turned back to the royal guard and with a much friendlier tone said, "May I ask why you feel that?"

The captain paused for a time, his eyes taking in Gustavus once again. The big bear certain did LOOK intimidating, even if close experience had proven how kind he was. "I don't mean anything I say to be taken negatively..." Again Mikhail silenced me as I began to respond. "If the two of you are... a pair,,," He was clearly trying to be tactful. "...that is one thing. But, to bring an innocent child into this environment and to subject him to..." he paused working to find the words. "...WHATEVER it is you do... is wrong!" He looked to the rest of us. "I cannot be the only one to think so!"

If he was looking for support, he did not find it. Not even Cuthbert spoke. The Labrador gazed incredulously at us.

I had warned him. I had told him he would hold his tongue or face dismissal from my service. I was just about to order him to leave when Mikhail spoke again.

The fox's voice was still oddly sparkling, still hinting at mischief like it always seemed to whenever he spoke. "I'm afraid I still do not undeerstand. What exactly is your objection? Are you worried that we are acting inappropriately in front of our son? I can assure you that is not the case. Gustavus is far too shy to do more than kiss my cheek in front of anyone else." He gave his lover a warm smile. "Is your fear that we might be abusing Virchen?" The notion sent a shock of outrage throughout the room.

Delilah spoke at this, "I can attest that THAT is not true! These two men are amongst the most loving and gentle souls I have ever known! They love their child and would NEVER do anything to harm him!"

Gustavus reached out a huge paw and took Delilah's much samller hand, giving it a gentle squeeze to show his thanks.

"No, sir." Briggs muttered. "I would never have cast such a vicious accusation... but I still believe that two men..." he paused glancing at the children. "...behaving such as you admit you are... is wrong! And a child has no business being subjected to it!"

No one seemed able to answer this. My mind raced to find the words that might help. It was Gustavus who finally spoke.

The bear's heavily accented voice was suprizingly soft. "You not believe ve know love."

We all looked at him but his eyes were fixed squarely on Captain Briggs.

"Sir?" Was all Briggs said in reply.

The bear smiled and began to speak softly with Mikhail in Massayan'ket. As I freely admit: my fascility with languages leaves a great deal to be desired. I was only able to catch a couple of words in the northern dialect. Fortunately, Mikhail was far handier with it than I.

"He says that you don't believe that we love each other... that you believe that it is only a sexual relationship." He spoke so matter-of-factly, that I stared at him in admiration.

Briggs seemed lost in astonishment. "I...I...", was all he could manage.

"Perhaps it might help if I told you how we met." the fox smiled. "You might then better judge for yourself if what we feel is love... or something more... base."

Miikhail had said something to me about his first meeting with his lover many years ago, but in that moment I wanted nothing more than to hear him tell it.

"Please do, Master Vyachislav." Will said encouragingly from his seat across the room.

All eyes turned to Mikhail now. The fox began to speak, his voice taking on the quality of a father reading a story to his child. "You aren't from the capital, so I doubt you'd remember the blizzard of the early winter of 960?" He paused for Briggs to say something. After receiving nothing but a questioning look in answer, he continued. "The 20th of the month started like any other day for the time of year: Cold, with a gray sky fading to white at the horizon. I had been in Highvolle for some months and had arranged to travel north to my family's house to relax for a few days, My cab had no sooner passed the parish farm on the outskirts of the city when the driver commented that the clouds were coming in."

"By the time we reached the edge of the woods, the snow had started and the wind was rising. Within five minutes the road... a cart trail really... was completely obscured. We had come so far already that we had no real choice but to push on and hope to get through the woods before the snow got too deep to plow through. My eyes strained through the window, hoping against hope to see some familiar landmark in this sea of white we were trapped in. But I may as well have been staring at a whitewashed wall."

"I should have known how hopeless our situation was, what the inevitable outcome must be. Somewhere along the way, our cab had strayed from the trail and the wheels on the right side hit a hidden ditch. I don't exactly remember the crash. I just remember a terrifying jolt, the scream of the horse and then I was lying on the wall of the overturned cab, my head ringing as I tried to make sense of things. I could feel blood trickling down the side of my face and as I a raised a hand to the spot there was a sudden blast of cold. It took me a moment to realize that the cabman had wrenched the door above me open and was calling to see if I was alright."

"After I assured him that it was a mere bump, he told me that one of the wheels had broken, the cab was now on its side and the horse had bolted. I was still trying to understand him around the buzzing in my head when he told me to stay there, keep warm as best I could and he would try to get help. With that, he closed the door and set off. From that moment to this, he has not been seen again by any living soul. Fortunately, it appeared that it truly WAS just a bump on my temple and nothing worse. I did the only thing I could at that point: I pulled my fur cloak more tightly around myself and waited."

I believe that all of us listening could picture ourselves trapped in that cab with the snow slowing covering us. The horror of it made the warm cabin seem cold and its shadows, forboding. Gustavus took up the narrative then, his low voice haltingly finding the words in Amurescan.

"I had been hunting that day. That morning, I shoot a deer... a buck... but the arrow, it not kill him. So, I track. To stop him... " He paused as he struggled for the words. Mikhail leaned close to him and they spoke briefly in the bear's language. With a nod to the fox he said, "suffering. I want to stop him suffering. The snow make tracking easier... blood shows up better. So, I follow. Then after maybe hour, I see cab. It is most covered in the snow. I put away bow and run to see if somebody hurt."

"I find door and pull open. At first I see nothing. But then there is fox. He look dead... frozen. I jump down to check if he breathing. I almost not believe it. He is! I lift him gently and climb back out of cab and run back to lodge. The fire is near gone out. So I put fox down in front and get it going hard again. I grab soup from that morning from workshop where I let it freeze and put it above fire. Then I wrap blankets around myself and fox and hold him close. Give him heat from my body."

"When soup is hot I pour it in fox's mouth and rub throat so he swallow. I rub arms and hands try to get heat in them. For long time, I think fox not make it. He so... dead. I not often pray, but I pray then. For long time I just hold him. Try to get him wake up. But I cry. He so beautiful. But he not wake up.'

Mikhail took the bear's massive hand in his as he continued. 'Gustavus told me later that I was drifting in and out of consciousness for a while before I seemed to finally wake up. I was dully alarmed to find myself in an unfamiliar place, but the pain wracking my entire body was quite distracting. I was barely aware of my own whimpering as I tried not to scream, the agony was so overwhelming. After what felt like an eternity of pain, I felt myself being moved and realized that I was pressed gently to the chest of someone behind me. I was as shocked as my dulled wits allowed me to be to find that person to be an immense grizzly."

"I worry about frostbite." Gustavus said. "But the fox, he keep his hands under arms, ears flat and tail wrapped around feet and nose. I try to talk but he not answer."

"I didn't speak Massayan'ket." the fox explained almost apologetically. "Not back then anyway. But, with a good deal of trial and error we were able to introduce ourselves... once I got my voice to work. He slowly made me understand that he had come to my rescue and I believe he tried to assure me that I would be alright?"

He gave a look to Gustavus who smiled and said, "I tell you you be OK. It hurt bad, I know. But you strong fox. You fight."

"I remember falling asleep again... and how safe I felt in his arms." Mikhail looked lovingly at the bear for a while. Then he continued. "The days that followed were not what I could call pleasant. My limbs ached to the bone and refused to obey me. You can't know how terrifying that sensation is unless you experience it yourself... which I sincerely hope none of you ever do. I was as helpless as a baby. But Gustavus was always there. He cared for me. He cleaned up after me when I was unable to use a chamber pot. He nursed me day and night without complaint... always talking in a low, calming voice. I didn't understand a word of it, but it made me feel that I was safe and I WOULD get better. Sometimes, he'd even laugh to himself as he spoke to me, acting as though I had responded. It was silly really, but I found it endearing."

Gustavus took up the story. "I worry for long time that fox not able to move. I maybe too late. But... he strong. He start moving. Slow at first. I see how much it hurt for him move. I tell him that is good. That is way. Just like that. He keep fight. After a week he strong enough to stand if I help. He talks to me too. Amurescan so I not know the words. But his voice is stronger and I like it."

"He had to help me learn to walk again. It took days of grueling effort, but he was always patient and encouraging. We held long conversations in those days. Of course neither of us understood what the other was saying, but it didn't matter. We both were glad of the other's company. I found myself wondering who he was. He was obviously a hunter. I could tell that from the lodge, the skins and the scent of a tanner's shop that came from the door on the other side of the kitchen. But that was only WHAT he was. I was dying to learn WHO."

"Every day, I felt stronger. Every day, I tried to get him to understand me and he tried the same. But we always ended up just talking. I told him about myself, that I had been a courtesan in my family's house in Highvolle for most of my adult life. I told him that is was just work to me... that I was following in my family tradition. But my heart was no longer in it."

At that, I swear he almost looked my way and for a moment I felt a stab of regret for what might have been. But that was foolishness. I had Master Wilhelm Linden now and was happier with him than I had ever deserved to be.

"I tell him about my family." Gustavus said. "How father die in hunt when I was small and I go live with uncle who teach me. He good man. When I can hunt on my own, I come back here. To lodge. Mother tell me it mine now. Family still live near here. So I not always lonely... not so much. But it good to have fox there."

"I think we both knew when I had recovered sufficiently to return to my family." Mikhail continued after another loving look at the bear. "But neither of us seemed ready to admit it at first. I knew my mother was probably worried sick... sure by this time that I had been lost. But still... I was oddly reluctant to leave. The lodge had become so warm and friendly... no... not the lodge. It IS nice to be sure, but that wasn't why I was reluctant. I knew I was being foolish. The grizzly had been nothing but kind, had never hinted at wanting anything from me. In the end, we seemed to reach a wordless accord. Gustavus went out and readied his sleigh and I put on my coat and cloak."

"As he lead me out t the sleigh, I was as surprised as you all were the first time you saw a pair of elk harnessed to it. He chuckled at my astonishment and said 'sovu echaya' which I now know means 'my boys'. He wrapped a couple of extra skins around me as I sat down in the sleigh. Then we were off. I tried to remember the way we took, but the forest was covered in snow. It seemed hopeless to think I could find my way back here... if only to say thank you. And to hear him talk to me again."

"It not easy for find way. Mikhail just point but not always sure where is road. We make it there just as sun is going down. His mother and sister scream when they see him but run and hug him. They so happy!"

"They told me how a search party had found the overturned cab and found my blood smeared inside. They thought I'd frozen to death and my body snatched off by some scavenger. Gustavus explained what had happened and my mother speaks Massayan'ket and was thus able to translate. We said our goodbyes... and just like that, he was gone."

"I come back to lodge. Feed and water my boys. But the fox is not there. I am happy he is back with his family but... he is not here. Lodge not feel so warm now. Fire not so bright. He is not here."

"Over the next few days, my mother and sister made sure I was alright, but gave me the time they sensed I needed. I was glad to be back. I had missed them... of course." The fox looked wistfully at his love for a while. "But I couldn't stop thinking about him. Again, I was fully aware how foolish I was being. I had no way of knowing that he felt anything for me... except for perhaps a well hidden glance or two... the way his voice always seemed so lonely... even when he tried so hard to hide it with a smile. I had no idea whether my interest in him would be welcome. The thought of him angrily forcing me away from him clawed at me. I didn't believe him capable... but the possibility left me in dread. No. I would forget him. I would go on about my life. I would forget this foolish dream."

"I cannot stop think about him. His smile. The way he fight so hard to heal. The sound of his voice... it echoes in lodge. But, how could beautiful fox think about me like that? He is so elegant. So perfect. He can not. But I do. I miss him. But it is only stupid fantasy."

"My sister surprised me when she said that mother was waiting with the cart and I should come. I pulled on my coat and cloak... and the skins Gustavus had wrapped me in and hurried outside. Without a word, my sister joined us in the carriage and we set off. At first I argued against going back. If you knew my mother, you'd know how useless it is to argue with her. She is used to getting her way. A well traveled cart track was now clear in the snow as he headed towards the woods. Soon we were deep in the forest and I was watching for any familiar trees or rocks. Fortunately, the tracks where the sleigh had reached the road were still there and we followed them to the lodge. I was still apprehensive but there was a joy in my heart as I jumped down from the carriage and ran to the door. Even if he couldn't love me, maybe he'd let me stay... at least a little while. That would be enough. I knocked at the door and pulled it open."

"I was hunting. I check my traps. But that time is no good for game. It get dark so I go back home. There are horses in stable! I not know them. Bandits! I go to lodge and hear voices inside. I pull bow and ready arrow. I push open door slow. Not make sound. I look in... There is Mikhail. He has plates in hands. Setting table. I hear his mother and sister in kitchen and smell good food cooking... Mikhail is there!"

"We must have stood there staring at each other for a long while. I barely felt my sister gently take the plates from me. Mother took the bow that Gustavus seemed to have forgotten he was still holding. And then we were in each other's arms. I knew he wouldn't reject me. I knew he'd never hurt me. I knew... I was home."

We were all silent for a time, the warmth of the fire washing over us. None of us had ever known the full story... except perhaps Delilah. She and Mikhail wrote to each other regularly. After a minute, Will broke the silence.

"Notice, captain: Not once did they have sex during the tale we've just heard. Not once was there any hint. They were both afraid of rejection... Afraid that the other might simply be INCAPABLE of returning his affections. Imagine what that must be like. The fear; forcing you to hide the very truth about yourself. Fear, causing you to resist simply telling someone how much they mean to you. Imagine what it must be like to live that way... for your entire life!"

Captain Briggs hadn't said a word this entire time. His expression was odd... difficult to read. "Captain?" He looked at me. "Is there any doubt remaining in you that these two men truly know love? Do you still believe their relationship is still based on nothing but sex?"

The Labrador swallowed with some difficulty. "No, sir."

Mikhail smiled with more warmth than the fire. "We love our son, Captain. Neither of us would EVER allow any harm to come to him."

"I know... I... I'm sorry, sir." I was amazed to see the stoic captain appeared close to having tears in his eyes. "I never truly understood before. I... know it's no excuse for my behavior. But please accept my most sincere apolgies." And he leaned forward in a formal bow.

A gigantic paw was suddenly on Briggs's shoulder. The startled hound looked up to see Gustavus smiling at him.

"It OK." the bear assured him. "You good man."

We had all relaxed. The tension that had permeated to lodge all day was now gone. Will glanced at me and smiled. Maybe... just maybe, Captain Briggs would work out after all.

As the children began to play again, and Cuthbert set to work feeding another log onto the fire. I considered. Will's words echoed in my ears. "Fear... forcing you to hide the very truth about yourself." I could hear Klaus Richter's voice just then: bold and a grin audible in it. "Horseshit!"

I smiled to myself and knew what to do.

"Captain, Master Linden is NOT having an affair with my wife." I stated as normally as I could. I could feel every disbelieving eye turning to me. "He's having an affair with me."

And then it was MY turn to tell a story.