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A Meaty Meal for a Meaty Maiden (by Shonuff44) by Tigershard

A Meaty Meal for a Meaty Maiden (by Shonuff44)

Tigershard



So... I've been asked this question a lot lately: How does a resident and guardian of a food kingdom like myself, a major foodie, manage to keep all that fat off?



Truth is... There's not much of a secret at all. My problem is trying to keep some of that on for as long as I can.



...Don't look at me like that. I'm not kidding.



It's like this: I have an appetite and stomach that rival the likes of the king of the land I govern, the great dragon El Stomacho. Don't let his size fool you. I'm always the first to try out his dishes, and trust me; he makes a lot of creative dishes. And when things get really serious, I compete with him in a "very intense" eating contest at least once a week. Word of advice, folks: There's a time to stuff your face, and a time to take small bites, and you should definitely take the latter method. Almost. Every. Time. I'd be lying if I said I win every time, but we still tend to clear out dishes like that snap. Weirdly enough, some of the king's subjects like to watch me pig out during seasonal feasts like they're watching a performance. Or a marathon. Is it an exaggeration to say I eat for hours? Maybe. But it sure feels that way.



I'm a total glutton, I'll admit. I just love eating, almost as much as I love cooking. Almost. I love the endless flavors of food that tickle your taste buds. And, perhaps just as much, I love having my tummy so big and full from all that, that I just can't move anymore. You feel like hibernating the days away like a bear in winter, and when you wake up, you feel just a little bigger, and maybe just a little weightier. Your clothes hug at you juuuust right. Why do you think I always wear this two-piece outfit?



Of course, the combination of adventuring, flying, running, rescuing (as well as being rescued), fighting, saving the world with my sisters (not to mention our limbless hero), and just being born a magical creature with INSANE metabolism, all that fat burns away in just a span of few days. There's also the fact I reside in the hottest area in Gourmand Land, dubbed "The Infernal Kitchen". Live there, play there, even work there. However, because of the humidity there, piling that to everything else I previously mentioned, I tend to sweat up a storm and have to shower two or three times a day. Have to wash the bedsheets almost daily after being soaked.



No doubt anyone would dream of wanting what I have to stay so lean so easily but... honestly... I kind of enjoy being on the chubby side. And from what I heard, a lot of guys these days enjoy that. Also... um... before you ask, no. My power to change size is not an exercise substitute. It changes the body, as a whole or specific places, not deal with calories. Besides, it wouldn't be as much fun.



Huh...?



...Oh. I see you're staring for a... different reason. giggle

Yeah. Like 'em? bounces

I guess the old saying is true that it goes down to your thighs or, in this case, your boobs. I always thought it's a good look for me. My sisters are so jealous, even Betilla, my oldest.



Summons a meaty dish and takes a huge bite



MMM! Asty-Tay!



hears growling



giggle That's certainly not my stomach. Listen to me ramble on and chowing down, and you haven't had a bite to eat yet since you got here, have you?



Offers the meat



Want some? I gots plenty.







art by shonuff44

Edith Up (Rayman Origins) © Ubisoft

Originally posted on 6/12/2016.


Posted using PostyBirb

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