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Worlds collide chapter 1 by TheCrimsonVigil (critique requested)

Worlds collide chapter 1 (critique requested)

TheCrimsonVigil

Something I've had in the works for a long time nopw that i finally got off my arse and put into a word doc :P
more to come, but i would simply adore peoples thoughts and critique. i want to become a better writer. good enough to be commissioned. good enough to maybe make a living on it.

so, yes, please let me know your thoughts!
P.S sorry for no fancy cover photo :P

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