Allison & The Cool New Spaceship Body [interactive fiction] by Tempo (critique requested)

Allison & The Cool New Spaceship Body [interactive fiction] (critique requested)

Tempo

31 March 2015 at 23:47:18 MDT

Some of you may have been wondering where I've been the last few months. I entered a special husky-fluff cocoon and emerged as a kids' book author! (Romance is so 2014. ; P)

I was teaching a class on interactive fiction and needed an example of what you can do in the genre with an engine like Twine, so I drew upon a setting I've been toying with for years. A friend of mine mentioned that there's very little good young adult sci-fi for girls, so I figured I'd try making it a kids' gamebook. If you remember Choose Your Own Adventure books from when you were a kid, that's basically what this is.

Actual game:

http://tiny.cc/shipfolk
http://tiny.cc/shipfolk
http://tiny.cc/shipfolk

I've been consulting some of the world's leading experts on gamebooks (as well as my loyal editors) and now I'm ready for some public feedback. (Not to worry—it's furry!)

The story is currently 30,000 words long across 191 pages. Aside from the cover image, the rest of the art's just placeholders for now. The eventual plan is to release this as an e-book and possibly a physical book.

Feedback wanted! ^_^

If you find any typos, just copy the words around it so I can search it out. I'm also looking for what you want to see more of.

P.S. - ThinkTank Games is the company I worked with on the Nordguard game. We've been working on another little project too, which I'll announce soon...

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