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Dead Inside by Tarnthelos (critique requested)

I'm dead inside

There's nothing left for me besides

You've cut up my insides

And left me to die

You can't comprehend

I thought you were my friend

But rather than amend

You would pretend

That nothings wrong at all

I wish that I had seen

That you were over me

It just couldn't be

You've ignored my plea

So I have payed the fee

You have taught me

That nothing is for free

I'm out of luck

I should have seen that you're a schmuck

I've run amok

Its all I can do to say what the fuck

I should have struck

You long ago

I wish that I had seen

That you were over me

It just couldn't be

You've ignored my plea

So I have payed the fee

You have taught me

That nothing is for free

I'm gone

I've realized I was your pawn

I've withdrawn

Theres no need to egg me on

You'll find my corpse at dawn

I wish that I had seen

That you were over me

It just couldn't be

You've ignored my plea

So I have payed the fee

You have taught me

That nothing is for free

Dead Inside (critique requested)

Tarnthelos

Haven't been feeling the best lately, and I've wanted to try my hand at writing lyrics, so here ya go. I've written a few other pieces, but I'm still deciding If I wan to post them.

Critique is welcome and encouraged! :3

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Category:
Literary / Poetry / Lyrics