So many times, I've lost control
With love feelings, for you and all
So many times, I wish I didn't do
Because I only remember how black it got
How much poison you left in my veins
This paralyzing nightmare, when I think of us together
It makes me throb in pain
I dreamed of that which I shouldn't
Obsessed over life and death
Oh, I was losing it all
Where were you, but only laughing at me?
Oh, so many demented in fear
I'm so lost in limbo, where did it even start and end?
Oh, betrayers, backstabbers, everywhere I go
For only what you'd dream, I'd be your guinea pig, scapegoat
I wish I never loved it, I wish I never got so close
I used to dream of togetherness and harmony
But then I see the way of the world
And I swear, I remember the day
I was sweating uncontrollably
Cause it was a black dream, a spark that turned black in the mirror
A bad start, a black start, all I see is it painted nearer
Where was my salvation? So much I didn't know
I go where angels fear to tread, but now I know, I know, I know
You kept loving me, then you were kicking me
You kept killing me and then hugging me
Don't you see what you'd do
You'd break a man's mind in two
Trying to kill a man; now you wonder why I'm the same
You've left me in tragedy; for what I feel I'm ashamed!
I wish it wasn't lust, this deep torture
Such hard lessons to live, lead me walking to death
So childish and innocent, till I see what was pricks in the rose
Everytime I'm dying, you'd play with me until I'm gone
No longer could I reach out and touch
I'm seeing angels everywhere and devils, they all want so much!
Each of them are ripping at my hands and knees, tearing at my flesh
Till there is nothing, nothing left!
My heart has been murdered, I've been policed; died countlessly
But even now I don't fall, but life is misery till detachment
Till my heart is gone
And I feel no longer your clawed hands around my throat
Till all hope is begone!