Taken from patreon:

Officer log, Aeryn
Octa 18 3688

I spent the morning happy, rushing out to do secret things for him. I wanted this day to be special. I enlisted the help of Asura, to aid in finding the perfect gifts to set the mood. His hatchday was today and I wanted it to be memorable. Asura convinced me to get some silly party favors and even a balloon expressing my deep affection for him. It was going well. I returned to our unit and lavished him in gifts and a custom cake, as I heard some cultures enjoyed this token of appreciation. I felt brushed off, and that he'd rather spend his hatchday without me. It hurt. I didn't know why. I had planned the perfect event, to worship his special day. I spoilt him with gifts and a meal, and the night melted away uneventfully. No matter how hard I tried, he wasn't into it.

Officer log, Aeryn
Octa 22 3688

I was enjoying rec time with Libra and Asura but couldn't hear my mate, and frankly, felt lonesome without him. He was only a room away but it felt too far, and something inside my chest told me something was badly off. I grew too curious and walked in to check on him, only to have my eyes instead lock onto words of another, giving my mate affection. Not platonic affection, but romantic. Worse yet, she was an acquaintance of mine who wormed her way into his head. Worse further, she was taken and her own partner had no idea she was cheating on him. It rapidly became messy. Things devolved so fast, I felt immense pain and emptiness, I barely said anything at all. I just fell silent. I had suspected for some time, after the first incident with another female, but now there was undeniable proof.

Officer log, Aeryn
Octa 23 3688

The emotions I held inside poured out and I crumbled, hysterically crying and feeling my imprint struggling to suffocate me as the realization I wasn't enough was slamming me between the ribs. Knowing that the last cycle had been a lie, knowing that I had never been enough, knowing it all and feeling the sharp stab of anguish at this knowledge. He tried to lie to me and say he'd stop, that it would end, that it had gotten "out of control" and that they'd "taken it too far", but I couldn't believe him anymore. I fell asleep that night holding his hand, crying. When I awoke the next day, he'd left my bed and returned to his virtual world and subsequently, virtual replacement mate.

Officer log, Aeryn
Octa 24 3688

I awoke to a notification on my data pad, it was from an anonymous source stating my mate wasn't just cheating on me, that he was running a pornographic alias online behind my back. I felt the flood of pain come right back, and my face burned beneath my fur. I walked into the data room and placed my pad next to him and just said "what is this?" I didn't expect what happened next, but he flew into a rage and began grabbing his things. If he couldn't cheat on me and gaslight me into thinking I deserved it, then he would leave. I tried to reason with him, get some explanation for why he was doing this to me, after all, I had been loyal to him and only him. I had given him the biggest gift I could, my heart and trust. I remember I was thrown into a wall by him, and then locked out of my own room. He took everything, even things that weren't his, and left me. And I was left sitting on the floor, my body pressed to the glass of a window and staring blankly while tears poured down my face. When my unit was empty I stumbled into the bathroom and felt my insides roll forward and purged everything in my stomach, continuing to do so until only internal bruising and dry heaving was left.

I learned from him that no matter how hard I tried, how much I changed my life plans, my goals, my wants and desires, that it would never be enough. He taught me that I am not enough, that I never could be. That the entirety, nearly two cycles of my life, had been a shallow lie. I learned that people will say anything to get what they want from you. And what he wanted from me was a free dwelling, and a servant who allowed him to walk all over them. I'm ashamed I allowed it, I'm ashamed I didn't see it sooner. I was so caught up in the imprinted bond with him that I just...couldn't see the truth for the lies.

I don't think I'll ever feel whole, or ever believe that I could be enough. He ruined me. I don't think I will ever forget the loud pounding in my chest of that day, the pain pouring over me like thousands of shards of glass, the mental collapse I endured and spiral into darkness I barely survived from. I can't make that mistake ever again-

I won't

These logs are an important part in Aeryn's story and how he will handle being introduced to another male, one who has a genuine interest in him. (how Aeryn takes that is yet to be seen............. but will be featured in my comic https://www.patreon.com/Spacedrakes)