When my alarm went off, I didn't jolt awake like usual. I had slept terribly last night and had been awake already when the alarm began to buzz. Groaning, I slowly reached over turn it off. At 6:30 in the morning, I was as good as dead to the world. When I had slept last night, it had been fitful and restless, so my fur stuck out all over the place. I went to my closet and grabbed one of the many generic shirts and a pair of jeans, not feeling especially fancy today. After that, I headed for the shower.

As I walked in the hall, I closed the door on my tail. I could tell it was going to be one of those days already. All I hoped was that the warm water and the steam of the shower would at least clear my head some. The mirror in the bathroom only proved the fact that I had slept awfully; I had one of the worst cases of bed-fur I have had in a while. The hot water of the shower felt nice and, as I had hoped, cleared some of the grogginess out.

I just stood in the shower for a bit, having one of those reflect-on-your-entire-life moments. I thought about how school had been slightly tough this year, with all that has happened. I also thought about things that made me feel uncomfortable, and I didn't know quite how to react to them yet.

This last year, my father, my little brother, and I had to move from Utah to Kearney, Nebraska. It wasn't a big city, I was glad of that, but it wasn't a small city either. Not too rural, but not too urban. It had been difficult, since our family had still been getting over the death of my mother, who had died about five months before our move. My five year old brother still didn't quite understand that Mom was gone, and it hard for my dad and me to try to explain it to him.

The worst part of moving for me was losing all my close friends; I am not someone who makes a billion friends, I have only a few very close friends. I had known from the time Dad had told us of the move that I was in for an especially bumpy ride. We have been in Kearny long enough that I have been in school for a little over a semester. As a sophomore, it had been even more difficult to find furs to connect with. It was all-around tough.

I reluctantly got out of the shower, knowing that I really couldn't waste any more time or I'd risk being late. The mirror showed a refreshed looking creature this time, with gold and brown hair plastered to its sides. My fur color mostly came from my mother, whom had been a Rough Collie. My dad though, being a Golden Retriever, gave me a wider muzzle, medium weight and length fur, and floppy ears. It ran dark along my spine and colored my entire tail, with a dark mass of hair on my head being the start. The dark fur slowly faded to gold and tan as it came towards my white furred belly; my white mitts and the white of my muzzle standing out against my mainly earth-toned body.

I looked over my physique; I had a flat stomach covered with soft fur, but no "chiseled" abs as some guys had. I was not bulky, but you could see the lean tones of muscle that ran under my fur. After assuring myself that I looked fine, I proceeded to dry myself off and get dressed. A couple runs of a comb and a good shake of my hair gave me the shaggy, messy style I preferred.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I jogged into the kitchen to find my father just plating me some eggs and an orange. My brother, Matt, was just waking up even though my dad always insisted that he sleep in, because before he knew it he would be up at the crack of dawn like his brother. He hobbled out of his room in his blue pj's and sat at the table with a big yawn, still holding Ty the stuffed tiger. I sat down and smiled at him as I started to peel the orange, but then I took a seconds glance at the clock. "Uhg! I'll miss the bus again", I muttered to myself as I started to wolf down my food. My dad gave me an inquisitive look as he heard the frantic scrape of fork against plate, then looked at the clock.

"I keep telling you that if you would wake up just 15 minutes earlier, you wouldn't have this problem", he smiled, all his teeth showing. "If you would like, I could drive you in the car to the bus stop; Nebraska isn't known for warm winter weather"

"That's fine", I muttered through a mouthful of food, "as long as it doesn't inconvenience you"

"No, I don't have to be at work until ten o'clock, and Matt's school doesn't start till 8:30. And its 7 right now, so we have plenty of time."

"Thanks dad!"

"No problem"

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

As I was grabbing my backpack to be out the door, Matt ran up to give me a hug good-bye. "Michael, you can't leave without saying good-bye", he said as I embraced him.

"Are you sure you'll be fine here alone for a bit?" I asked him.

"Yup! Don't answer the door and don't answer the phone."

I gave him a thumbs-up, "Spot on! See you after school little buddy!" I rubbed his head and he smiled up at me. I waved good-bye one last time as I walked out the front door to where my dad sat in his car while it idled quietly. I walked up and opened the door. As I got in, my dad turned to look at me.

"Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be", I told him. And with that, he drove me off to my bus stop. I had slept awfully, but luck seemed at my side today; the bus was only just showing up as my dad pulled up. As I hopped out his car with a quick bye, I could see the bus driver waving at me. I ran up to the bus and got on.

"Hey Michael, good job on not being late, Are we going to make this a habit?"

"I'll try, but I can't guaranty anything", I said with a smile. I only had to walk back two or three rows to find an empty seat, which I flopped into as the bus started to move on to the next stop. I used to get many awkward looks, but most of them have since gone away. I usually said no if some asked if the seat was open, mostly because they were annoying prep-y sixth graders, but if Luke asked I would make the exception.

Luke Turner was a sophomore like me, and one of the only few furs who had seen me as just more than a new face. He had actually said hello the first day I was here, and he was always nice. I thought to myself about his nice ashen-gray coat and his ice-blue eyes. There was no special pattern to his fur, and it suited him just fine. I could tell, ever since that first day, that he was muscular, only to be confirmed in gym class. However, he wasn't to one of those gross extremes; I had seen plenty of toned, lean muscle. I started to think a little more about...I stopped myself. No! No, just stop now! I thought.

Perfect timing for me, Luke had just walked onto the bus. He walked by and looked at me as I moved my stuff. "Hey there!" Luke said as he positioned himself in the seat a little more comfortably. He had on a simple button-up shirt that looked...well, I guess I shouldn't care how it looks... "So, how are you today? You don't look topnotch like usual." He looked at me; there was something about his eyes...

"Oh, I'm fine, just didn't sleep the best last night", I told him. I noticed his partially worried look at me after I said this. "Don't worry", I said, "it's nothing. Just didn't sleep well."

"Well, alright. That happens to everyone", he said back, the worried look gone.

"Yup", I smiled over at him. Together we sat for the rest of the ride, making small talk. All the while, me hiding the thoughts I kept having. It's not me! Now stop! I kept thinking to myself. I hope he doesn't notice...

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I was glad when the lunch bell had rung; it meant freedom from English class. It also meant that I was free from sitting next to the biggest jock in the school, Jace. Let's just say...he wasn't the smartest, but he had some strong opinions. Whoever sat next to him was the unfortunate soul to hear them all. Yay me...

Today his subject had been homosexuals. I had to sit and listen to every word that he said. "You know, Michael, you're alright. You don't talk too much, and I like that. Not like freakin' gay bastards", He had said it loud enough so that the whole row heard it, some flinching at the words. He then gave me another look and smile crept onto his Doberman face, "You know fags go to hell, right?"

"Sure", all I could ever say were short words that signified agreement with him, or I could risk a blow to the face. It had made me sick.

"Yup, they sure do. Down to the lowest level" he had snickered after this. The rest of the class had been filled with similar talk and "agreeing". Everyone around Jace had sighed with relief when the bell rang. I had packed my stuff up and hurried to the cafeteria.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

At the usual table sat Luke and my other friend, Natalie. She wore a simple shirt and a skirt. On her Siamese face sat a pair of thick glasses. Her short grey fur shone, and her color points matched it nicely with a light blue. "Hey Michael, how's it going?" she asked me as I got to the table.

"Oh, except for the lack of sleep, I was fine until English last period", she looked at me quizzically along with Luke, who couldn't say anything through his mouthful of peanut-butter sandwich. "I'll tell you after I get some food", and I walked to join the long line for lunch.

I don't even know why it is called lunch, it should be more like "barely-edible-semi-nutritious-mush-that-you-pay-an-arm-and-a-leg-for". I was thankful that I only ate it sometimes. Today's "mush" was something that resembled meat along with canned peaches, an apple, and some sort of odd-smelling green vegetable. I walked back to the table, discarding the "meat" and the green stuff on the way. This year, I had made the amendment to eat only the items I could recognize.

Luke had started on his second sandwich when I got back. "Feeling minimalistic?" he said through some sandwich.

"No, I just felt like only eating the stuff that was identifiable", I retorted. We all laughed at this, knowing the element of truth in it.

"So...English?" Natalie inquired.

"Yah, what went down?" Luke followed, "Was Mr. Hawthorne giving you a bad time, or did he prepare a nap instead of a lesson? Wait...you would have enjoyed that?"

I chuckled, "I really would have. No, it was Jace." Neither of them looked especially surprised at this.

"What was it this time? Is the sky too blue? Or are rainbows to colorful?" Luke asked mockingly.

"That would have been pretty mild. He was on the subject of gays and how they will burn in hell. The worst part is that all I could do is nod and do my happy puppet impression." I saw something flash in Natalie's eyes; anger was my guess. Luke stopped eating for a millisecond, which was a record for him.

"Sometimes I wish I could go and claw his face off. The only thing stopping me is that face-clawing doesn't go well on applications to Harvard." Luke and I laughed as Natalie held herself in mock prestige.

"Some furs are just jerks, but they get what they dish out eventually", said Luke in a philosophical manner; or at least as philosophical as someone could be when holding a sandwich. All of this was great at getting rid of my bad mood. It also helped that my all-fruit lunch now consisted of fruit and some beef jerky, courtesy of Luke.

The rest of the day went by pretty smoothly because Jace only shared English with me. Still, I was having feelings and thoughts; things I wasn't planning to address to anyone. The bus ride home was slightly annoying though, because Luke and I could only find seats near the back, and that was where all the kids who cussed every other word sat. In addition, the stupid sixth graders behind us thought it was so cool to kick the back of our seats. One glare and a raised lip from me stopped it though. We got off at the same bus stop because someone in the transportation district had decided to make morning routes different from afternoon routes, which didn't make a ton of sense. We walked home together until his street came up, and I was sad to see him go. I was pretty sure I could walk forever with him...stupid head, what am I thinking! Quit thinking like that! The rest of the way home consisted with me running over tonight's homework in my head so I wouldn't forget about any of it. I also did this to keep certain thoughts at bay.

When I got home, Dad and Matt were already home. I dropped my backpack by the front door and walked to the kitchen for a snack. As I started to rummage around in the pantry for something, my dad came into the kitchen. "How was school?" he asked.

"You know, the same-old", I wasn't about to talk to my father about what happened in English. Not only would it be awkward, I didn't want little ears to hear anything they shouldn't.

"Was it alright even though you didn't get a lot of sleep?"

"Yah, I think a caught up on sleep most of the day", I turned and smiled, holding a handful of nuts.

"Sure you did", he knew I was joking since I had yet to fall asleep in any class in any grade.

"What's for dinner?"

"You know, I'm really not in the mood to cook, so I thought I would just order some pizza"

I heard a cheer from the living room where Matt was. "Well, I'm fine with that if you are. I don't think Matt is for the idea though" I said it loud enough for Matt to hear. I then heard the patter of pawsteps as he ran to the kitchen.

"I DO! I do want pizza Dad! I do I do I do!" I laughed at this, with a small chuckle from Dad.

"Don't worry", Dad said to Matt, "we will get the pizza." Matt cheered then ran back to the living room to continue whatever he was doing.

After the pizza arrived and Dad had us at the table, Matt decided he wanted to say what he was thankful for. "I am thankful for...Dad and...my big brother and...and food, and pizza, and that we have a nice house, and I hope that Momma gets back soon. Ok, I'm done now" Matt said as he reached for his slice of pizza. I couldn't help but give a small grimace as I flashed a look at Dad. He just gave me a small sad look, and then wiped it away as Matt started telling us about his day. We really should tell him, it's not the best idea for him to think she'll come back I thought. "...and Mrs. Kay said I did a good job coloring in the lines!" he smiled over at me and I congratulated him. You could see his chest puff in pride. It made me smile, that I had such a nice family.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

After I had gotten all my work done for school, I got undressed and got ready for bed. It was 9 pm and Matt had already been in bed for about an hour. I knocked on my father's door. "Yes?" came the answer. I opened the door to see my father sitting in the recliner in his bedroom, reading some mystery novel.

"Good night, I'm off to bed", I said.

"See you in the morning Michael", he said back.

I was glad that tomorrow was Saturday, because it meant I could sleep in. I made sure all my work was done, and then made sure that my alarm was off. There had been a couple times in the past where I forgot to turn off my alarm for the weekend; it had sucked. I turned off the light and found my way to the bed. The covers were very warm and inviting, and it wasn't long before I was deeply asleep.

I slept and slept; I may have dreamed more, but the only one I can remember was a truly lovely one. I can't remember the distinct details, but it was blissful indeed. Luke had been there. We were together and...I can't remember what we had been doing. Luke smiled at me. He wasn't just there, I had dreamed of him, about him. He smiled again, and slowly we came closer and closer. He reached out and pulled me in, our faces coming together, my heart pounding with joy and...I shot up in bed, quivering with excitement from the dream; Luke's face still in the back of my eyelids. All I could think of, though, was Why? Why me?

******

Hey! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! Comments and critique is always appreciated. If you want, you can even email me your thoughts at sebastian_fox[at]ymail.com