We often have the habit of hearing something or seeing something and then believing that we understand what we just witnessed. This latter sentiment is not always the case.
Thoughts, ideas, concepts, philosophies - simple, great, complicated, deep: they all present challenges to our faculties of perception. We struggle to understand one another, often without considering these challenges though they are certainly there. We also struggle to communicate those things to others, and sometimes even to ourselves.
Your struggles are valid. Let us keep trying. ^^
Proverbs 18:13 King James Version
He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.
"As oil dwells within seeds, and as butter hides within milk, so, too, must you strive
and seek to awaken, or understanding shall not find you."
"Wie sich Öl in Samen und Butter in Milch verbirgt, so müssen Sie sich auch bemühen
und suche zu erwecken, oder das Verstehen wird dich nicht finden."