i don't often vent but here i'll make an exception.
the past two years have done a number on me. where i used to have stable relationships and a structure, is now ashes of turmoil and isolation.
because my friends to put it quite simply, fell for the spell the wizard placed on everybody. the wizard i was warned about in another dream i had when i was 6.

Autumn's coming in, although there's rumours they're now trying to control the weather, yesterday it rained like nothing else, and the days prior were sunny as all get out, with strange cloud formations.

Because the temperature has literally gone from cold to warm and back again, i'm now sick as a result, the headache especially induced by the dream I shall describe in more detail. I woke up from this yesterday morning achy and a bit dizzy.

I was playing something resembling splatoon. Only I was an octotrooper in his little machine thingy. I was playing a level reminiscent of the one with the branching paths in Octo Expansion with the multiple keys on each route, looping back to the start to do the other routes.
Only I turn around and there's toilets for him to hop on and off of. Cute, I guess.
Then I'm in a house resembling my uncles old house from like 10 years ago, my friends are there, the 3 I knew physically. They say to come outside, I do.
Outside now resembles the back of my aunties old house, and outside are two boys, one with long hair, the other resembling someone I knew on the internet. It's a birthday party, I think? We celebrate with small, green fez hats. I'm given some jelly-thing shaped like a bottle that tastes sweet upon first bite, but then after that, it turns darker, and everyone notices, urging me to eat the rest before it goes fully bad. I refuse, since watching it darken from a light, pastel pink to darker and darker shades already has me on edge. I continue refusing right up til I give one of my friends the thing.

It's then I wake up with an ear-splitting headache and nauseating depressive feelings.

All of the friends in the dream are people I lost. In one way or another, because they gave up, and gave in to the nonsense they were told to do or be a part of. Even the guy with long hair, i didn't connect him to anybody in the dream, but he also matched up with someone I once knew and lost who I was close with.

so I decided to pose it in gmod. It's been hard to do maps, even harder when my head won't shut up. I don't like to think there's some disarray between things like that, it was a stupid dream. But it was sure of a heck fitting to everything I once loved and everyone I once knew.

I can only be glad I defended myself, because the hole in my heart for them remains as hollow as it'll ever be.