Recently my family had a tragedy. The man who has been in my life for 12 years as a second father died on Sunday, March 22, 2015 early morning. We found out around 5:30 that night.

It's a complicated relationship. When I was 6 my parents divorced. She met this man online. He lived in Texas. He moved up north to live with my mum, my brother, and me. They stayed together until I was in 5th grade. From then, it was off and on constantly. The last year or so they never dated, but he stayed with us a lot. He had smoked weed all his life. But started doing heroin. When he was trying to get clean he'd live with us. Then give up and run off. That went on for a year. For the last few weeks he started meth. He has high blood pressure, and they think the mix of the drugs messed with that and he had a heart attack. His heart was enlarged. So yeah...

Right now my mom is stressing out about getting his body back to Texas. And she wants to go with him for his funeral. I've only cried twice because I've been staying strong for my mom who's a complete wreck. I get the feeling once she leaves with him, I'm going to break down finally. I feel super numb and that feeling I need to cry but it won't come. I'm hoping a friend will come and keep me company then.

This image represents me crying for him. I'll pixel it in a bit. I have another image that looks horrible sketched of him and my mum I'll be posting as well.