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Frost and Feathers: Chapter 1 by Pagerda (critique requested)

Frost and Feathers: Chapter 1 (critique requested)

Pagerda

Start Here: https://www.weasyl.com/submission/1274526/frost-and-feathers-prologue | Next: https://www.weasyl.com/submission/1274610/frost-and-feathers-chapter-2

This is my character Bansou's life story, which I'm making into a book.
I'm very much open to critiques, because I plan on getting these works published--once I finally finish them, that is.

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Literary / Story