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... “Love? Love is great, sure: the contented, blind, all-encompassing love. Love doesn’t care about your wrinkles, species or gender – it’ll hand you a candy bar and say “hey kiddo, cheer up – I’m here for ya”. Yeah, love is grand, magical. But Love has some ugly brothers: real sleaze balls. Lust. Attraction. Obsession. Attraction is the worst. He’s Love’s twin, besides he could afford Lasec or something because he’s a choosy asshole when it comes to looks. Love takes time, it needs to maul stuff over and add the pieces together. Attraction is direct: “Hairy?” “No.” “Bad teeth?” “No.” and there’s your attraction. He’s a curious jerk. It’s all the taught, pert and lithe bits and God help you if you’re a few pounds overweight. Attraction is a pervy gym instructor and you’d better be supermodel or a hunk.
Attraction takes over your life from 13. That’s the first time I remember getting hit with something. It was a bottle of Dr. Pepper, it was half full so I got drenched in that fake cherry flavouring they use. You see, Attraction has a little cell phone right up inside your head and he can call anyone he wants. He can call over Love and then things are peachy. He can call over Lust and Fetish and things get handsy. But he can also call over the meat heads: Disgust, Anger, those kind of dudes. That’s where the bottle of Dr. Pepper comes into it..
I’ve got a round face, cute snout, long hair, a bit more hour-glass than the first Dr. Pepper incident – but not bad, if I say so myself. I keep myself trimmed and groomed. Everything you should do. Everything a girl should do. But here’s the issue: the bump in the front of my pants shows I’m not a girl, even if the bumps at the front of my shirt say otherwise. The doctors aren’t sure why, I’m not a transsexual it’s just ‘genetics’, they said some percentage have the problem, but usually male hormones overpower the female ones. ‘Androgynous’, ‘Herm’, ‘Bi-gendered’, it doesn’t matter. That’s where Attraction calls up Disgust and Anger. Most resort to anger when they realise, like I’ve tricked them – not their own eyes and lusts. It’s not my fault, but it is my body. I try hiding it, try concealing everything with baggy clothes but then people have to stop – they have to inspect me, work me out like a puzzle, and then they heckle worse. They throw harder. I pass them and they shout “Hey! Are you a guy or a chick?!” My hoodie paints me as a depressed Emo, my baggy clothes making me a target anyways. I’m old enough to go to bars, but I don’t fit in there – straight men and gay women hit on me but I can’t fulfil either, I’m a trap. And gay men and straight women can’t accept my shape.
Why can’t they accept it... if they can’t then maybe I should hide who I am? What I am... Or maybe I can trick them? Be more of a girl and hope they don’t mind finding out later. Try to grow a beard, cut my hair, bind my chest – be a man. Maybe after they love me they will be blind to it all... Can you love someone who’s slipped between the lines? Is there really a ‘best of both worlds’ like the yiff sites say?” ...
Of Both Worlds © 2010 Alex Cockburn
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- Rating:
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jinggo78
Love takes time, it needs to maul stuff over and add the pieces together.*
Maul means to injure or harm. I think the word you want is "mull" which means to consider something carefully.
He’s a curious jerk. It’s all the taught, pert and lithe bits and God help you if you’re a few pounds overweight.*
Taught is the wrong version of the word here. I think you mean "taut" which means neat and tidy and definitely seems to go with the rest of your description.
Attraction is a pervy gym instructor and you’d better be a supermodel or a hunk.
You're missing the word "a" where I've put it in bold.
He can call over Lust and Fetish and things get handsy
I don't know the word handsy. Is it antsy or angsty maybe?
The rest has no errors.
Content critique: I don't know how much of this comes from your own personal experience and I wouldn't dare assume. It's not my place. But I will say that, regardless, you portray this subject matter in a realistic and believable way - even considering the furry aspect which most of us here relate to anyway. Your thoughts are organized and have a clearly defined point. There is no doubt in my mind the message you are trying to convey and it is done well. I feel sympathy for the character in the story and want that person to find happiness even in a world that won't accept him/her (what's the correct term?) Persecution is something that most people (depending on your age) have experienced in some form or another. Not precisely related to this story but they resonate with each other. The feelings of rejection are the same but transposed to each person's unique circumstances. And that is why this works.
Good job. Except for the minor grammatical errors which most people probably won't notice this is a good picture and story together. The story definitely provides more depth to the picture. I am not an artist so I can't critique your art skill but I've always liked looking at your pics. I like your style and from a viewer's standpoint it's well done. I am a writer though so I do know what I'm talking about regarding the story.