What if...? Where is...? How come...? Will it...? Who can...? Will there...? Can I...? Will I...?

The voice in your head, your own voice, is filling your mind with questions and concerns like someone holding down a fast-forward button. You ask yourself questions you don't know the answer to. You think of possible outcomes of something that has not happened yet or never will. You think of situations in your life or another's that might not be true. You try to find the answer to the question no one asked or is not important. The flow of voices and questions continue to fill your head like water being poured too quickly in a glass. You start to get worried about not knowing the unknown. You find yourself stirring awake late at night, unable to get any sleep. The gears in your head continue to turn and rotate, unable to stop. You break down, feel like crying, curling in a corner, and try to hide from the thoughts and questions that still continue to come to you.

You need a calm voice to help you answer some of those questions, even if they are not the answers you are looking for. That voice mostly tells you to calm down and relax, like a parent trying to calm a crying child to sleep. The voice tells you not to worry and not to beat yourself up over something you can't control. The voice tells you to talk to it and tell it what is on your mind and what brought this speeding train of questions to go through your mind. You talk about them, almost as fast as the voice you hear in your head. As you talk about them to the one with the open ear to you, you slowly start to feel a bit more relaxed. You slowly start to think about what you are saying, realizing that what you are worrying about sounds fictitious and not worth worrying over.

Sometimes, when you speak the questions that fill your head, you get more panicked. Your friend, the one who is listening to you, continues to calm you down by trying to clear the random thoughts in your head. Your friend continues to tell you not to worry, breathe and relax. Just hearing your friend trying to help you calm down helps. The thoughts in your head start to slow down and vanish, even the ones that you can't answer are slipping away. The calmer your breathing, the less the voice in your head speaks.

When someone has an anxiety attack, it is always best to be by that person and hear them out. You are the voice of reason in this situation and the only one at that moment who can help heal the other by your kind and supporting words. Calm their breathing, always tell them that you are here and you won't leave until the anxiety attack fades. Be the one to clear those shadows from the clouds of thought away from your friend and allow some light to shine on them instead.

There are times when you are alone and you have to calm yourself from an anxiety attack. You constantly have to tell yourself to "breathe slowly", "calm down", "focus" and "relax". Breath is the horse, mind is the rider. If the breath is out of control the rider gets thrown off. Once calm, the ride becomes smoother and balanced.

artwork © 2014 Alex Cockburn