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Harley's barking mad revenge, complete version by MegsArtFan21 (critique requested)

Harley's barking mad revenge, complete version (critique requested)


24 July 2020 at 16:18:08 MDT


Harley has had it up to here with Joker treating her like his own personal punching bag
and takes her revenge in a unexpected way.. but things take a unexpected funny turn.

"Oh Harley would you be a dear and pass me the mini hand grenade launcher
I'm gonna blast this suckers head clean off of his shoulders heh".

"Sure thing pudding, I could've sworn you said earlier that
you've killed enough people already tonight
remember when you blew up that soccer stadium full of people just an hour ago? ".

Joker just glared at her.
" Harley.. You know better that one thousand citizen deaths isn't enough.
Just hand over my gun and make it snappy."

"Sure thing boss," Harley Quinn saluted.
She unhooked her handbag from her shoulders
and rummaged through its contents before blindly handing something to him.
Joker stepped in front of the man, blocking the
only escape route in the cold lonely alley way.
"Tonight's your big night.. you get to go out with a big bang my friend,
with a very special goodbye from this lethal. deadly. hand grenade launcher!."

The young man looked terrified until
he actually saw what Joker pointed at him.

" a banana?, that's not even remotely scary clown
Gee and to think that your Gothams number one villain".

He sped off as fast as his legs could carry him
Just before Joker could kill him some other way.
Now with no victim to focus on
Joker turned his full furious attention to his hench girl.
Harley grinned sheepishly at him
realising now her terrible mistake.

She found herself then being hauled back to the hideout
by the ears of her black and red jester cap.
"I am so in the doghouse now". She muttered to herself in spite of the pain of her
Blonde hair being yanked from under the fabric.

She wanted to slap herself silly for this third idiotic error
First she trips the fire alarm while in the middle of a bank heist.
Second, she cracks the the rear view mirror of the car after only trying to adjust it, which earns her a broken nose from Jokers fist
and finally third, she gives Joker
a frigging piece of fruit, thinking she gave him
his most trusted weapon.

Harley got so deep into thought
she hadn't even seen yet that she already stood in the back at the hideout.
Her flashbacks of guilt abruptly then interrupted
by the sounds of brazen shouting.
Joker just couldn't hold in his rage any longer.


hearing her own name being screeched like that
always chilled her cold with dread.
She dared to spin around,
hearing deep heavy breathing
getting closer and closer.
Joker came stomping at her.

"Y-you gave a the banana, when I told you loud and clear
to hand me the grenade launcher
You stupid thoughtless incompetent complete
utter joke of a Hench girl!."

A tiny squeak came from Harley's throat.
"I'm- I'm sorry, I made an honest mistake please calm down pudding."
Harley Quinn begged, wide eyed and sweating profusely.
Joker's blazing green eyes were locked onto her
like a loaded up tommy gun about ready to fire out dozens of lethal bullets
Harley knew Joker could do way more then just give her a
mere spanking he could very well murder her senselessly if he chose to
and there was even a chance it could happen today.

"Pudding please
there's no need to be angry about that."

Joker grinded his
clenched teeth together so hard
there was a possibility his teeth would crack.

"Angry?.. Ohh I'll give you Angry!", he snarled,
rearing back his arm.

Harley brought her hands up to her face
to protect herself.
Joker tightly clenched his fist
to do extra damage.
With terrifying speed a flash of a white fist smashed
into her vulnerable soft face, the force of the punch throwing her to the ground.
Harley sobbed in the pain not just from her face but in her heart too
she kept her eyes to the floor refusing to look at Jokers cruel eyes.
Joker cracked his knuckles,
preparing to do it again.
Harley had disobeyed him
therefore the little minx needed to be punished.
3 more rounds later of hoisting Harley up on her feet and slugging her delicate face
and once he was finished he simply dropped her like a rag doll.
Harley winced, now weak and injured but not fatally.
Joker stared down at her
his pale face lacked any sort of remorse.
During rough times like this Harley normally would've ran off into her room, sobbing and crying loudly
or submitting to Joker and doing what ever he tells her to do.
Not this time.
She raised from the floor, got to her feet
and faced him.
Her bruised eyes
held a slight hint of bravery.
Despite them being filled
with tears and aching painfully
Enough was enough.

"I thought you cared for and that you loved me and never meant to hurt me
but now I see that its not true".

"What are you trying
to get at here?".

Your nothing but the sick twisted evil monster
everyone in Gotham says you are, that manipulates, kills and tortures.. all to satisfy your hunger for mayhem ," she said, her tone soft and calm.
For a moment Jokers face remained with the
same unremorseful expression, seconds later however
a cruel smirk emerged.

How very amusing,
Harley's actually standing up to him.

"Oh Harley do you realize how gutless you just sounded,
every time I've slapped you about
you've said that kind of rot
and yet despite that what do you do?, you come crawling back to me every single time
begging for my love and forgiveness".
To Harley those words were likened to utensils
being scraped on a ceramic plate.
scratchy and ear splitting.

"Well.. Not this time I won't!".

With a grunt Harley turned tail and ran into her room, slamming
and locking the door behind her
to keep Joker out.

"Harley! You open this door right this instant!".

Bits of Wood chipped and splintered
under his trembling fists, bashing on the door and jiggling the handle.
Behind the safety and comfort of the room
Harley cringed hearing the dreadful noises
it sounded as if Joker could rip the door right off from its hinges

She did her best to ignore it despite that ever growing dread
he could barge his way right in
through the door and kill her on the spot.

Every bitter little word Joker said to her before.. It was a painful reminder
of so many years of being with him
She figured out finally how miserable she truly felt living with Joker.
Harley glanced over to her bedside table absent mindedly
and spotted something there she had stolen quite long ago from now, about 6 years ago.
That something could replace her Jokers abusive controlling nature
with a completely different nature.. That and something more on a physical scale.

All was quiet and peaceful outside the room now
meaning Joker had at least given up
his attempts to break in.
"Oh yeah I forgot me and the jerk ass clown stole this". She said picking it up,
blowing off some of the dust.
Harley began smiling in a devious way, not much differently really
to one of Jokers infamous grins.
"I know exactly who's I'm going to test this little puppy on."
Joker raised one of his green brows when the door
to the bedroom began to creak open after what seemed like an eternity.
Was Harley ready for more?.

She stepped out then carefully and quietly, something
was hiding behind her back.

"Ready for me to do another round of
practise beatings on your small face my dear?,."

"No but I do need to tell you
something Mister J".

Joker folded his arms across his chest
he could not believe Harley had recovered so fast
from all the punches she endured from him.

"Whatever it is I don't care one bit Harley
now stick your head up so I can deliver a real good one to your neck
I might even paralyse it if I get lucky.

"You can do whatever you want to me
if you just let me have a say for once".

"Wha-whatever I want?, you mean you'll allow me
to twist your arms and legs the other way around
and force you to pull your own teeth out?".

Harley shuddered at that
image in her head,
he's a monster inside and out.

"Yes pudding even something
fucked up like that".

Good thing the Joker could not
see through her lies.

"Oh ho ho goody I'll have to get my camera okay..
spit it out now".

Harley breathed in deeply in and out from her nose.
"Okay, do you remember we used to have two beautiful hyenas
Bud and Lou".

"Yes.. I remember them who can forget such
ugly snaggly toothed faced faces?", Joker chortled.

Harley tightened her grip
on her hidden weapon.

"Well I always found them to be cute as puppies
speaking of which, ever that tuna munching cobble pot villain
shot and stuffed them for his stupid museum
I've been thinking of getting a dog."

Joker rolled his eyes, he thought of Bud and
Lou her two hyenas as nothing more then
slobbering pooping giggling machines.
And that's not all, he got nasty little fleas from them
they got drool all over his favorite suits
and when Harley wasn't around he had to be the one to give them walks,
Having a dog around would be pretty much the same charade.
He set his hands on the sides of his hips.

"Well that's just too bad pooh because
were not getting a dumb dog, not even if you got down on your hands and knees
and begged for me like one,
it ain't gonna happen no no no zip zero zilch nada got it".

Harley stood her ground still,
she had a funny feeling that's
what he would say.

"Oh ho-ho I am getting a dog Mister J and if I can't just buy one from the pet store,
a decent breeder or even the local shelter I'll just have to make
one myself", she said confidently.

Joker couldn't believe this.
How dare she talk back to me like this
I'm her boss and ruler, she doesn't get to make the decisions.

"And just what makes you think
your going to do that hmm?, I can't see you being able to give
birth to your own stinking mutt".

"Oh I can show you.. Right now!," Harley Quinn then
pulled out from behind her
what seemed to be a grey and purple Ray gun.

Joker did not even flinch.

"Oh so that's it
your going to put a bullet in my brain
and then replace me with a flea bitten cur
That's lame even for you".

"Well.. not exactly Mister J, this is a different kind of gun
to the lethal ones your used to".

"Harley.. I'm seriously going to take that gun from you and
shove it up your nose but first do tell me where you found it".

"I got it or rather we got it from a laboratory, I've heard it's useful
to use on men who don't respect their partners
I'll give it a demonstration right now.. on you pudding". Harley replied back
pointing the gun at him.

There's no way Joker would just let her use him as a test subject
and get off Scott free, he took a step forward to take it from her.

"Harley when I take that thing out of your hands
your going to wish you never came out of that room".

He wanted to straight up kill Harley when he took it from her
but he had no such chance because Harley Quinn
pulled the trigger then from between her fingers.

"After I'm finished with digging your own grave
I'm going to go and find myself a new
Harley hopefully a more loyal one too".

Yeah right.. Like Harley
would allow that.

"No, bad mister J!".

A dart from the gun fired from the barrel.. Right into the middle region of his neck.
"OOW!," yelled out Joker stumbling back feeling the sharp shooting pains.
With a yank he ripped out the pointy ended object from the flesh
and looked down at it before throwing it over his shoulder.

Every nuance of rage and
unspeakable lava hot hate settled inside before
erupted from Joker like the worlds most powerful volcano.

His white face steamed so red hot
it looked like it could
give you a 3rd degree burn with one touch.

"You- you are so dead!!".

Joker roared and bellowed, leaping forward to annihilate Harley
with only his bare hands

Harley trembled for a moment at this heart stopping sight.
then at once remembering the dart in his neck before
she stood up tall.


The clown prince of crime abruptly froze still in the action
of preparing to strangle Harley to death.
He felt his bottom being dragged by an invincible force
downwards towards the ground.

"What the hell did I do that for?" Joker questioned himself as he could see now he was
sitting on the floor with his hands
splayed out in front of him.

More then anything he resembled a dog
that had just been given a command.

"This is not funny".

Harley Quinn smiled with overwhelming delight.

The man she had put up with
for many many years had just obeyed her
for once instead of the other way around.

"Uh oh guess who's in the dog
house now heh heh".

Jokers could not find any strength or source of will power
to get out of this sitting position, that dart more then likely might
have had something to do with this.

"Harley as much as I want you dead and mounted to my wall.. will you kindly explain to me right now..

"Of course I'll explain Mister J but only
because your being such a good boy doing that for me".

He felt stunned then furious
as he gaped at his legs still planted to the ground.
How dare she talk to him like that,
like a pet or something.

"Don't call your boy I don't belong to you!", he yelled.

"You still want
me to tell you what's going on ?".

"Yes, cut the crrrap and tell me".

"Okay.. here's the thing Mister J
for all the years we've known each other
I've wanted you to be kind and caring to me but you
never were therefore I'm now gonna make you kind
and caring myself the only way I can... By force".

"And just how do you think you are
gonna accomplish something ridiculous like that?", Joker shot back.

"Changing you into a dog".

Jokers eyes widened, the word sweet and dog echoed in the crevices of his mind it all made sense now to him.. Harley's simply
trying to get back at him for what he did to her.

"Oh I see now what's going on here, your punishing me for mistreating you by forcing me to behave like I'm your loyal dog is that it?".

Joker said in a condescending
tone getting to his feet.

Harley grinned.

"Stay Mister J".

Joker again listened to her command
likely due to the instincts of a dog wiring through his brain
and so he stayed put, keeping his feet glued to the floor.

He did not think
things could get much worse.

Feeling something wrong with his skin
Joker's attention focused then at the surfaces of his hands.
it was so itchy there.
As though millions of tiny insects were crawling under there
just beneath, biting and nipping his tender flesh under the soft fabric of his gloves.
Tearing them off quickly he found the source of the unbearable itchiness, copious amounts of bristly white hairs, protruding from the pores of his skin.

Any other person
would freak out at this sight.

The Joker however still wasn't convinced,
he was quick to think that these hairs
were phoney fake ones.

"This is a bad joke right
these hairs are fabric aren't they!",

He picked them out,
examining them, feeling the smoothness of the strands between his fingers.

"It's not a joke pudding and the hairs aren't phoney",
Harley said.

Bending down
she glanced at his feet.
She knelt down to pull off his black dress shoes
and his white socks from his feet till they were bare.
Like tossing away some worthless garbage.
She threw them both to the floor with a gentle thud.
Joker got
annoyed at her doing that.

"How dare you, those shoes
and socks of mine aren't like trash you can just throw away".

"They are now".

He groaned
with resentment.
His ears were picking up the harsh grating of crackling bones
from in his left foot, popping and crunching, changing
the shapes of his two feet.
Seeing this happening
spoke more to him then words ever could.
Joker let out a piercing yell of shock
as realisation with the force of a course slap hit him hard.

"So Harley told the truth,
I am indeed going to become a dumb dog",

He would never get out of this, it was now official.
Jokers going to become a dog and be Harley's pet.
No more causing mass chaos destruction, genocide or deaths
no more going head to toe with batman
which he would hate the most, considering how much he enjoyed tussling with the big guano head.
On the plus side, there would be no more stays at Arkham asylum
which would be at least one positive thing from being a dog
Joker could not stand the guards that were in charge of his cell
they were the true embodiment of unfunny.
He wouldn't be eating the proper way no more
and especially not using utensils, cups and glasses.
Instead of a fine tall glass of red wine or a nice hot cup of coffee
he'd just be slurping up plain old boring water.
And as for eating food, Cold disgusting slop poured into a steel bowl
on the filthy ground would be the only thing on the menu
with maybe the occasional piece of steak or chicken.
What about using his Joker toxin on people still?
no way, he'd be fetching Lichen covered sticks
for Harley as a hobby instead.
Not to mention Harley would force him to wear a leash and collar
when out of the hideout.

But the worst life change of all would be having to go to the bathroom in public
He shuddered at just the mere thought of it.

"Pissing on a tree is so degrading".

Black puffy looking blotches were soon bloating to life out through his pale feet, merging themselves together to form one large heart shape,
under his toes little ones were forming too.
One shocking look at that
left him with no doubt they were dog paw pads.

"Awww look at your little paws". Harley cooed, prodding and poking them
to feel their bumpy texture.

Joker growled bitterly looking at what had become of his feet
His dark green toe nails were darkening
and elongating to into these dirty black claws.
He cursed Harley with even dirtier
words best not said under his breath for doing this to him.

"You won't effing hate me though when your fully a dog you'll love me and want to be with me all the time", she said holding his hand as it was shifting into a paw.
Joker smacked her hand away, baring his teeth.
"I'll neverrrrraaarrrr love ARF! you!! you can grrrrrr burn in hell!".

Harley frowned
at seeing her pet being stubborn, no problem she could fix that easily,

"Bad dog no yelling". She snapped, hoisting up a newspaper over his head, ready to hit him with it.

The impact of its thick papery surface making hard contact with his scalp
caused Joker quite a bit of pain
he let out a yelp,
very reminiscent of a injured dog.
Harley feeling a teensy bit of sympathy for Joker
rubbed his head as his ears which had little pointed tips
slid up higher on his head.

"Oh so I'm sorry my boy but I did it for your own good," she said as she continued stroking his soft green hair gently as his instincts were becoming more like that of a canine.

That feels so nice- wait what am I thinking??.

Joker did not like this,
not one bit.

He was having difficulty fighting off the new dog urges, losing a bit of self control when he let his tongue slide out from behind his yellow teeth.

Creamy fur had began to sprout all over his face, cheeks,
and chin there was even some sticking out from his forehead.

"Oh my with all that facial fur
you look like a yeti".

'Shut- ARF! up".

Joker frantically scratched at all the areas the hair was growing from
as if that would remove all them.
As if he was enormously itchy from all of it sticking out of his flesh.

His eyes drifted down
and got just the slightest glimpse of what was happening to his tongue
as his breathing was fast and loud.

Having seen plenty of dogs around Gotham city
he knew exactly what he was doing, panting.

He slurped it quickly back in like one would do with a strand of spaghetti
as his face flushed beetroot red with embarrassment.

Joker still found it hard
to take in that becoming a dog would be his fate.

"This is RARF-really happening I'm gonna become a ARF!-dog what a joke on me!".

"Yes you are Mister J" Harley nodded.

Harley wondered what breed of dog her pudding
would turn into.
Any complaints Joker
tried to make now were drowned by barks.

Joker fought to keep
his tongue in his mouth
where it belonged.

"come on pudding just let your tongue out,
I don't see any point in fighting it when your gonna be a dog anyway."

No, no don-don't, fight it fight it you idiot don't become a dog like she wants
keep your hideous new tongue in your mouth where it belongs.
Joker grabbed a hold of the long floppy pink muscle with one hand
and tried in vain to shove it back into his mouth
when it threatened to spill out.

A hopeless move
it was though.
The tongue only fell right out again,
too large now to even fit in between his teeth.

"I see your trying to resist the changes". Harley sighed
taking a dog biscuit out from her pocket, she gave a piercing whistle
then to get his attention.
Joker lifted up his head, hearing the sound
... Then he saw the tasty looking treat grasped in Harley's hand.
Taking his eyes off
it proved to be hard.
Harley flashed a smile.
Jokers nose was turning
black wet, and leathery.

His tongue drooped down over his teeth
and again he panted,
this time at the thought of
eating that tasty looking dog biscuit.

"Aww you look so cute".

Harley Quinn laughed in delight
at the sight of her pudding
behaving like a dog.

In one part of his mind Joker wanted to die of humiliation
but the other side being the stronger dog consciousness
just told him to accept panting with the tongue out
as being normal canine behaviour.

"You want this treat Mister J you want it?,"
Harley said waving it excitedly in front of his quivering doggy nose.

"RARF! pant-pant Yeah-Yeah I want it I want the treat", Joker barked out as his new flatter tongue grew inches longer
till the thing lolled down past his shrinking chin.

Joker didn't even seem to care about
all the extra saliva building up
inside of his wet mouth.
Especially since this gave him almost instant relief
from the toasty fur enveloping
every other area of his outer body.
Harley tossed the treat forward to him.
The rapidly changing villain snapped from it out of the air
crunching and chewing it up
with his teeth.
The meaty flavouring of the dog biscuit was delicious, he licked at his lips
moistening them with the saliva from his tongue.
Joker however gained control of himself again fast
when he realized what he had just done.

"Oh no.. did I seriously just eat a revolting dog treat!?".

Joker shut his eyes tightly,
not wanting to see anymore changes,
His four canine teeth shifted about in their gum sockets.
growing long, sharp and pointy.
His trademark slicked back mop of deep green hair loosened. strand by strand of it falling out in clumps from his scalp, his nostrils were filled with the dank aromas of dust, dirt and other things. These strong scents
made him choke just about.

Harley could see the frontal region of his face bulging and throbbing
it was stretching itself out, lengthening into a long curved Roman snout.

one look at his long football shape muzzle from Harley
and it finally clicked in her head
what kind of dog he would be.

"A bull terrier?, Wasnt expecting
that to be the breed of dog you'd become".

Joker opened his eyes and leered at her,
the green in them fading away to a brown shade now.
A thin white tail that before was nothing more then a stretching lump
finally burst through his pants.

Harley Quinn squealed with glee.
His transformation was finally finished.
The Joker had vanished
in his place now stood a white coat bull terrier
wearing a purple suit on much too big for his smaller body.

"Aww you want me to take that off you?" Harley cooed
bending down to the canines eye level.

The dog gave a small growl and ripped the suit apart
with his new sharp teeth to get the clothing off himself.
He did not need Harley's or anyone's help.

"Okay never mind".

Harley backed off, not wanting
to get too close to his mouth
Joker craned his stockier neck to stare up at Harley
and bared his teeth at her
he wanted nothing more then to tear her to pieces and
find a way to get back to his former body.
Joker looked down at his creamy paws then up to Harley with
fury for turning him into a flea bitten mutt.
Sensing the dog didn't want to
make friends with her yet
Harley left the room.
Joker had never felt more
livid with her in his whole lifetime.

Now that the dog stood alone in the uncleaned living room
he went deep into thought, resting his head and snout on his paws.

I hate that jester hatted bitch with a burning passion- wait do I.. no I don't
what a ridiculous thought for a dog like myself,
that woman is my owner and I'm her pet.
And completely dependent on her
for food, love and shelter, Joker couldn't forget
something important like that.
Later on Harley
returned to the room,
holding sonething for her new pet.
The dog panted and wagged his tail
When he saw her coming over to him,
his brown triangle shape eyes shining brightly with happiness.
She carefully clipped the collar on
around the dogs neck then.

" I've already chosen
what your new name will be".

The bull terrier gave her a happy bark,
It was his only reply she got back from him.
On the middle of the silvery tag of his collar
written in bold green letters
read out the name..


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