it's just particularly harder to be happy today

i know time heals all wounds, but god. this pain just isn't going away. i guess i have to be more patient.

it just sucks when literally everything is a reminder. songs, shows, food, rooms, pictures, interests, clothes...etc

i wake up and my mind goes straight to painful recollections and it's killing me slowly.

i went to the mall today for pizza, sat by myself and everyone looked at me funny. and i went to the fucking playground for gods sake too, bc i really wasn't feeling right and i thought swinging on a swing would make me feel at least a little better. got looked at funny for that too. then i left bc i didnt want people thinking im a creep or something because god forbid an older person comes alone to swing on swings right?

but damn, idk...it was an especially dark day for me today.