"Welcome to Felix Farms! Oh - howdy, officers. What can we harvest for you?"

"Oh, no, I insist - here at Felix Farms, we're quite proud of our wide selection of delicious juice drinks, cold pressed from only the freshest of fruits and berries. With how hard I'm sure you're working, I'd be remiss if I didn't at least offer you fine fellows a bit of refreshment on such a hot, sunny day! Now go ahead, drink up, and I'll be happy to answer your questions."

"Missing persons, you say. How peculiar. Can't say as I've seen anyone matching that description ... although we did have a gaggle of trespassers about a week ago, people what climbed over the fence an' tried to steal some of our crop. If y'all want to come with me to my office, I can pull up the security footage. Oh - more juice? I agree, the quality here is top-notch. Every fruit and berry pressed at the peak of ripeness! It's mighty nutritious, too."

"Here we are, the footage from that night. Right around 2 AM or so, you can see a few hooligans comin' over ... oh! You say those are the ones you're lookin' for? Well that does make things interesting. This camera's pretty close to Greenhouse 8, why don't we go take a look and see what we can find?"

"... I hope the walk wasn't too far for you, officers! You're lookin' kinda flushed - downright red and purple! Here, have some more juice before we go in, it'll perk you right up. There ya go, now c'mon in."

"Why yes, these particular fruits are enormous. Here at Felix Farms, we're experimenting with new breeds of perpetually ripe fruit that can give more and more of that delicious, nutritious juice. With enough progress, we hope to be able to keep the whole world fed for a reasonable price! ... yes, that one did groan, admittedly. Let me roll him a bit ... yup, this gargantu-guava does appear to be one of the missing trespassers! Listen to how ripe he is! Just a slap or two ... listen to that beautiful thump and slosh!"

"Oh do stop shouting, you've been ripening ever since you had that first drink. Lemme just get rid of what remains of your outfits, and we'll have you both nice and comfy in your own mulch beds. Hey Jed, Cindy! Got a couple new berries what want planting, can you two handle that whiles I hide the cop car?"