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Spectrum: Rhythm and Hues by LaurenRivers (critique requested)

Spectrum: Rhythm and Hues (critique requested)

LaurenRivers

Summary - With their mission clear, the resistance has a lot of work to do before the United States can come in guns blazing. On the other front, Indigo's final plan becomes clear, and only Kelvrin and his team can stop her...

Starring:
Lauren Rivers, aka Blue.laurenrivers
Susanna Carver, aka Red.

Fritz Jansen, resistance soldier paulshep
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3660899

Sabah Alev, resistance soldier. MrBitchin
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2217492/

Emmy, resistance member. emmyskunk
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2695602/

Kazerthan Zeal, Resistance Leader kazer
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2569661/

Kelvrin Firkin, Scientist, Blue’s programmer. kelvrin
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3052248

Nexii Vanadis, resistance member nexii_vanadis
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1745174/

Murdock, Lead Villain ladysin
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3756058

Pete, Operator for Indigo, Red, Green, Yellow, Orange, and Violet. skunkman001
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2040710/

Richard Haskell, Soldier thronezwei
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2963655/

Guest Stars
Teric as Operator of Independence Radio teric

Lyndon Brennan, USM

General Richard Renard, Fort Rukario nerdytigerfox

Deceased Characters

Violet Star as Lead Enemy Soldier. violetneko
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3873376

Submission Information

Views:
553
Comments:
2
Favorites:
1
Rating:
General
Category:
Literary / Story

Comments

  • Link

    Looks like you have some good plotting and a real story arc in mind. Needs some editing though. Simplify, let the reader fill in the blanks. We're pretty good at that. See my comment on your other post for specifics.

    As they always say: Show don't Tell

    • Link

      Thank you! I was particularly proud of my plot with this one, I was inspired to do a three story arc that made it easier to write the earlier parts since I knew where I was heading. I'll admit this was a first draft, and I'm definitely working on it.