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Spectrum: Rhythm and Hues by LaurenRivers (critique requested)
Summary - With their mission clear, the resistance has a lot of work to do before the United States can come in guns blazing. On the other front, Indigo's final plan becomes clear, and only Kelvrin and his team can stop her...
Starring:
Lauren Rivers, aka Blue.
Susanna Carver, aka Red.
Fritz Jansen, resistance soldier
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3660899
Sabah Alev, resistance soldier. MrBitchin
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2217492/
Emmy, resistance member.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2695602/
Kazerthan Zeal, Resistance Leader kazer
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2569661/
Kelvrin Firkin, Scientist, Blue’s programmer. kelvrin
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3052248
Nexii Vanadis, resistance member nexii_vanadis
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1745174/
Murdock, Lead Villain ladysin
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3756058
Pete, Operator for Indigo, Red, Green, Yellow, Orange, and Violet. skunkman001
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2040710/
Richard Haskell, Soldier thronezwei
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2963655/
Guest Stars
Teric as Operator of Independence Radio teric
Lyndon Brennan, USM
General Richard Renard, Fort Rukario nerdytigerfox
Deceased Characters
Violet Star as Lead Enemy Soldier. violetneko
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3873376
Submission Information
- Views:
- 553
- Comments:
- 2
- Favorites:
- 1
- Rating:
- General
- Category:
- Literary / Story
Comments
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Thank you! I was particularly proud of my plot with this one, I was inspired to do a three story arc that made it easier to write the earlier parts since I knew where I was heading. I'll admit this was a first draft, and I'm definitely working on it.
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Link
Velantian
Looks like you have some good plotting and a real story arc in mind. Needs some editing though. Simplify, let the reader fill in the blanks. We're pretty good at that. See my comment on your other post for specifics.
As they always say: Show don't Tell