When I get off a bus, the driver usually says,

"Have a nice day."

As in at school.

Nice day at school.

Well, here I'm a puppet

My strings are my friends and college

They’re keeping me animated

Keeping me on the stage

Because let me tell you

I have an act

Nonchalant in class and this smile on my face

It’s only been painted there.

I’m a puppet with loose screws 

I feel constantly pulled 

With the stress of tomorrow 

School to me is a swimming pool

Eight feet deep and five yards long

Without knowing how to swim, I'm pushed in

Told to get to the other side

All I want is to get to the other side without drowning

I reach and reach

Splash and struggle to get to the edge

And the threats and the scare tactics

Make the sharks in the water

Drowning already, now being torn apart

And at the end of the pool

During the weekend

There’s only an angry and disappointed parent

Pleading doesn't work with water in my lungs

The coaches blowing whistles 

Right

Into 

My 

Ears.

I'm a kid in the garden

But it's been set on fire

They tell me to find tulips but I’m only finding orchids

They tell me to get the roses but I’m only grabbing thorns.

But they don't see the pain

They just set loose the dogs

And whips

And more threats and scare tactics

I'm like a donkey being worked

I keep trying but they just keep whipping

Keep scratching

Keep threatening

Keep shaming

Keep staring

Keep scaring me

I try but the pressure's too much

But I can't fall over because the harness makes me stand

I keep walking but they want me to run

I can't feel my feet anymore

Threats and scare tactics

Insults and shaming

I just want to breach the surface

To breathe again

But the whistle keeps going and I keep drowning

I'm only a puppet with a mouth that won't speak

Won’t defend

Won’t put into words the reasons

I'm unable to do what they ask

The only thing I can say is that I can't.

From under the water, everything is 

So far away, so distant

And from under here, I'm not moving at all

And from under here they stop yelling

Because I stopped

Maybe then

They’ll stop threatening

With threats and scare tactics

Phone calls for fear

Threats to thread in thoughts

Of work

But from under here

They stop

And I feel maybe I don't have to face this

I could stay under the water and drown.

The teachers can stop bullying

Stop yelling

Stop worrying

Stop pestering, nagging, pecking

Pecking me dry

Stop scaring me 

Stop making me fear going back to my own home

Because they know

They just keep getting reminded like I do

Stop shaking me upside down for results

Stop

With their threats and scare tactics

"Do this or that will happen"

"You disappoint those who love you"

"You just stopped caring"

Well yes, because

From under here

There are no threats and scare tactics

But I can't stay there

There where the sun can't shine

There where life doesn't breathe

There where things stop mattering

There where there are no threats or scare tactics

Because those strings pull me up

My friends

The promise of College

It yanks me out of the water and slaps me 

With love

Not as a threat or a scare tactic

And I wake up

And I get pushed back into the pool

And I struggle to the other side

Week after week after week after week

School to me is a terrible place

I used to love it before the 

Threats and scare tactics

It's like I'm in a circus

I'm part of the show and

The high school's throwing knives

At me

Watching as I can't even move due to my own restraints

And when I get nicked the crowd just laughs

Because I'm just part of the show

And I just keep smiling

Because I'm a puppet

Strings being strained 

Screws ever loosening

From the threats and scare tactics

But I cling on and keep swimming

One day that pool will stop coming

The sharks will stop charging

College will shelter me

Friends will still love me

But my family will still be wary of me

And high school will still scare me

Thanks to

Threats and scare tactics.