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Hearts of Many by Kazekai

Hearts of Many

Kazekai

They say you shouldn't care about the approval of others, or how they feel about you - the truth is, people who truly are not concerned with others are insane.

I have reached inside myself and gripped a thing I shouldn't have years ago, the paranoia was unbearable, I was afraid to live - the fear of the unknown, the uncertainty, the possibility of failure and the possible success, and I was afraid to die, the greatest mystery, do we cease existence or is there something better or worse waiting for us, the paralyzing fear that I was creeping toward it, that I would find out and I didn't know when, always moving forward but not advancing for better or worse.

After a while, it numbed me.

I woke up one day and didn't care - truthfully, I spent two weeks feeling nothing, not even relief that the fear was gone, just walking to where people pointed me to, looking at the world with disturbing detachment, and for the first time, being truly unconcerned with everyone, even myself.

I was insane.

I was born unstable, but that was the catalyst - I remember someone helping me through it, several people, it doesn't feel like they pull you out of an ocean of madness, but more like they help you stand up, and make the world solid under you. They support you, they ground you, and now I feel like I can stand, and lean on their support when I need it.

They keep me from falling.

When my mind is chaos, they make a path for my mind to follow, I can grab onto them and not get lost.

I can ask for their help and they will reach out to me and make the world solid.

They surround me and make a freezing wasteland burn.

We need others, we need our friends' hearts so that we won't lose our minds.

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