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The Silver Lining Chapter 1 by Karafox (critique requested)

The Silver Lining Chapter 1
The air was crisp and clean as four teen furs drove up the mountains. The skies were clear; the sun was shining and best of all it was supposed to stay like this all weekend. A storm had just gone by so there was fresh powder on the mountain meaning the snow on the ground was perfect for boarding.
In the car was a wolf, a tiger, an otter, and a fox. The four of them were now freshmen in college, and it was their first winter out of high school, and best of all they were all finally parent free.

The wolf's name is Becca. She is a vegetarian and is fairly shy around new people. She was about five foot three inches and was rather scraggly. The tiger's name is Salvador. He is rather out going and can be harshly blunt. He is also about five foot eight inches and has a average build, not over weight but not thin. The otter's name is Ozwalt. He is afraid of water and loves to take the scenic routes, metaphorically and literally.

Finally there's Kara, the fox who stood at a nice five foot seven and a half inches. He weighed about one hundred and thirty eighty pounds. He wasn't as big as he should have been, and his mother always got n him for that, but he didn't care, he liked his size and that's all that mattered to him. His fur was a nice red orange color that covered his back and legs, along with the back side of his arms. His stomach and chest is covered with an off-white color of fur, along with the front half of his arms. Though between the two colors, there is a thin black line of fur. His hand paws are covered in the black ‘mittens' that go all the way up to the elbows, falling short of the elbows by about three inches. As for his feet paws they are covered in black ‘socks' that went up to his knees, stopping just below them.

As for his personality he an adrenaline junky, always looking for the next rush or thrill, yet he was an artist in a sense in how he did it. Not only that but he had a deep appreciation of the guitar. He was a good boarder, he knew how to get from the top to the bottom without ever falling, and performing some of the sickest tricks he knew. He had spent most of his childhood learning how to board with his dad, who tragically died in an avalanche.

He sat in the car wearing a pair of dark navy blue denim jeans, with a hole at his left knee in them and a chain leading from where his wallet is in the back of his pants, on the right side, to one of the belt loops above his right pocket. His shirt was a loose pure cotton grey shirt; on it was a pair of guitars that crossed mid neck. As for his hair, he had is semi flattened down and at the tips there was a rebellious curl to the right, and for the color, his hair was dark brown.

They drove along the road listening to custom mix of songs put on a USB that hooks right into the stereo. They had left early in the morning so they could be at the resort and be ready by about six. Then hit a few slopes and crash for the night, after that there were no plans at all, just have a great time hitting the slopes.

"Dude I can't wait to ride the fresh powder!" Exclaimed Salvador.

"Pshhh. It's all about the scenic views Sal. Just imagine the beauty and glory of mountains out here, I mean just riding along in this car is showing the beauty of it all." Ozwalt said.

"By mountains to you mean breasts?" Sal blurted out jokingly.

"Hey there are women present!" Ozwalt said.

"What women? I only see bunch of guys in here." Kara said as he was driving along the road.

"Oh, when we get you are going to die for that!" Becca retorted back at Kara.

"Well, seeing as though that's our slopes there your chance to neuter him is not to far off." Oz said pointing at the mountain with trails clearly cut out of it.

"Holy crap that has to be one of the nicest places I have ever scene!" Sal stated moving forward to get a better view.

"Best part is that the resort doesn't advertise like the ones with all the new people, so it won't be cluttered like some of the others. Not only that but half of its runs are black diamonds." Kara said reassuringly.

A silence fell over the car as they approached the parking lot. The lodging cabin was three stories tall. On the left side of it one could see a room that had glass paneling, letting one see the interior which on the first floor had a bunch of tables and places to relax on, and some food services were visible. On the second floor there is what looked like an arcade, something to do while off the slopes and relaxing and when the slopes are closed down. And at the very top there is a restaurant, in there they serve fancy food all the way down to basic simple meals, a great place for couples to go on dates, or just have a nice gourmet meal. The rest of the building was probably rooms to stay in. Finally to top it all off in the center where the entrance is an elegant over hang.

They slowly came to a stop looking at the resort. Every one piled out of the car and looked over the hotel basking in its simple yes elegant design. "How much did you say this place was?!" Becca asked in surprise.

"One fifty each. This place gives wonderful deals to people who do know of its existence." Kara said to them. "So individual rooms or one four bed room? Perhaps two two bed rooms?"

"Well I think one room would do best, I mean we are all close friends and all." Sal said. Everyone just nodded and looked at Kara.

"Well so be it, one room four beds it is then." Kara said as he began to walk toward the receptionist as everyone else grabbed their bags and belongings.

_________________________


After about half an hour the rooms and passes for the lifts were bought. Since that was done every one was sitting on their beds relaxing and stretching before hitting the slopes. "Okay guys I think that we should go all out and start at the very top of the mountain and meet at the bottom!" Ozwalt said looking at every one.

"Well geez Oz If we all had to sit at the bottom of the hill and wait for you we may not get to curve up any more slopes." Sal said to Oz chuckling.

"Oh hahaha, real funny Mr. Tiger." Oz said back in a sarcastic tone. "Well I am off to hit the slopes seeing as though I'll need a head start." And with that he promptly left and the room and went of to the slopes.

"I'll go with him, knowing his luck he'll probably do something stupid and hurt himself, and that's no fun for any one." Sal said as he waved good bye leaving the room.

"Well it looks like it's just you and I now." Becca said to Kara as she looked at him standing up. "And as much as I hate to leave you alone I'll meet you at chairlift, I need to get a drink real quick, and do you need anything?"

"Nah I'm set, I'll see you there I need to change into something more comfortable." Kara said waving good bye as Becca left the room and closes the door.

"Well now it's just me, better change while I can." He said Tugging off his pants and putting on another pair before slipping his snow boots for the board on and left the room making sure the lights were off and the door was properly locked. "Why do I get the odd feeling that..." He said cutting himself off shaking his head dismissing the feeling.

As he heads down the hall he sees a mouse who was wearing nothing but a towel, maybe something under that, but he couldn't tell. As he saw the mouse he couldn't help but notice his figure. He had and athletic build and was rather cute. His fur was tan, and his hair was long, falling a little bit below his jaw line. HE thought to himself. He's cute, sexy- Wait, what am I thinking, he is well....a he! Geez Kara you are sure strange some times.

He shook his head and continues to the chair lift where he saw Becca patiently waiting for him. He waved to her and she saw him as he walked up to her. "Geez I thought you would never show up your like a whole minute late!" Becca said like a preppy girl before breaking out in a laugh.

"Sorry, I uh, saw something in the hall and stopped for a second." He said looking around before moving up to the chair lift with Becca and sitting in the seat as it began to pull them up.

"Oh? Do tell, this sounds juicy." Becca said rubbing her hands together.

"It was nothing just some mouse who was naked in the hall, kinda embarrassing." Kara said blushing. Normally he told her everything but he left out how he thought the mouse was attractive to him, even though he knew she wouldn't have a problem with it.

"D'aww does somebody in this chair have the hots for a mouse for a smexy mouse?" Becca said teasingly and Kara just laughed back nervously and watched the chair lift as they went up in it in silence until they arrived at the top of the mountain.

Looking out at the sights Kara could see why Oz loves the sights of these mountains. "Well let's go." Becca said as she started down the mountain followed by Kara.

There was little to no one up here so he could feel free to do just about as much as he pleased. As he went down the first slope he took note of a two people kissing on the side of the slope, they were both male at a glance. Kara just grinned and kept going, e had nothing against gay couples, hell he had even on a rare occasion looked at guys and playfully ‘checked them out'. He was always kind of curious about what'd it be like to have a boyfriend but never wanted to try to just off of a curiosity.

He saw his first jump of the day. It was a decently angled jump and about four feet off the slope at its end. As Kara approached it he lowered himself closer to the ground and pulled in his arms as to gain more speed. After a few more moments he launched off the jump, sailing through the air. Not wasting any time he shifted his weight to get his feet moving above his head rolling through the air performing a back flip, pulling out just in time for a clean landing in some nice soft powder. Looking back he saw a few of his friends attempt the jump only one of them pulling off a front flip. He looked forward again and lucked in to gain more speed.

He flew down the mountains at speed that amazed his friends. His friends would always say how incredibly insane he was for going as fast as he does down the slope, saying how one day his speed demon attitude would get him into twist me may not make it out of. He thought nothing of it though because he loved the wind whipping through his fur, making his tail thrash behind him wildly. Luckily one of his friends, Becca, was also just as brave, or stupid, as he was. Remembering this he spotted out his friend and waved to her motioning for her to meet at the next chair lift stop.

As they both approached the chair lift they slowed down until they were safely stopped. "So is the wittle fox too frightened to keep going?" She said giggling to him.

"Please. You know I never get scared even in the worst of situations." Kara retorted back to Becca.

"Careful fox, you never know what can happen. So then, why'd you really flag me down then?" Becca commented back.

"Yeah, so everone keeps telling me." Kara said rolling his eyes as he looked at her and grinned, "Well I wanted to race you to the lodge. After all we both have the same gutsy behavior so I figured that we'd have no problem racing to the lodge."

"Sounds good, what happens to the loser?" She said raising an eyebrow.

"Hmm...I hadn't thought of that, how about the loser has to..." Kara paused for a quick second to think of a good condition for the loser. "...the loser has to buy the winners meals for the rest of the trip out here." He finished grinning.

She laughed out loud and looked at him. "Very well then loser pays for the winner's food. Good thing too, because I was feeling like ordering lobster tonight."

Kara looked at her and just laughed. "As if, we both know who's going to win!" He exclaimed, patting her shoulder.

"And that's me!" Becca exclaimed as she jumped and started down the slopes leaving Kara behind. However what she didn't know is that Kara had the clear advantage since he knew this place like the back of his paw. He knew the perfect trail to take that brings you right to the bottom, obstacle free.

Looking for the turnoff he started down the slope turning off onto the unmarked trail. This trail was wonderful because it was smooth, unused, and straight forward, except for one sharp ninety degree turn, however that corner had several dead trees that served as a marker for where to turn.

He scanned the trail as he sped down it. It had changed considerably since he had last been here. The trees that that lined the trail had moved further into the center. "Perhaps this may have been a bad idea." He whispered to himself.

He continued to sail down the trail. It was longer than he remembered it being shorter. However he figured it was because of the different tree line messing with his sense of familiarity. Though a new obstacle had popped up, the snow around this area was icy and crackled beneath his board. Also because of the ice he moved faster down the slope. Kara pushes down on the back of his board trying to slow down since he was moving far too quickly on the ice. Unfortunately the ice was too solid and wasn't letting him slow.

Even as things seemed to be as bad as they could get one final problem arose, he was at the bend, and the marker trees were gone. Now he was speeding out of control on hard ice, approaching a steep incline that was just barely short of being a cliff.

Having no other option Kara bailed, falling to the ice using his entire body to help slow him down. It was working for the most part, however just not fast enough. The edge of the corner that fell into the decline was quickly approaching so he dug his claws into the ice. Another thing that he did was kick off his board using an old technique his dad had taught him. His biggest reason for losing the board was because if he did go over the edge his legs would be mostly stiff and had a greater chance of breaking.

He felt himself slowing down faster. Regrettably his legs went over the decline and he still has some speed as he his body slipped over too. Felling his arms slide over he stopped grabbing at the ice and tucked his limbs in closer to his body, wanting to prevent any potential damage to his body.

He began to roll down picking up momentum as he tumbled down. Even as he went down he felt the exhilarating feel of adrenaline mixed with fear coarse through him heightening his sense of the environment around him. Just as quickly as he felt the surge of adrenaline go through him he slammed into a tree, knocking the wind out of him, leaving him gasping for air as he started roll again picking up speed.

As he went down he hit several other trees, luckily not as hard as that first one. After those few more trees he was sick of going down helplessly and looked around for things to grab onto. Seeing a thin tree, just a sapling at best he moved his wait over shifting him toward the little young tree and grabbed for it. To his advantage he got it slowing him down tremendously, however he couldn't hold his grip and kept going running into several other sapling that eased his speed down as the hill's slope began to level out.

After a maybe half a minutes rolling he came to a complete stop and looked around quivering as his body screamed out in pain. AS he looked around he could see nothing but snow and trees. He was scared. He didn't know what to do, however he knew sitting in the snow was not what he needed to do.

So, using all of his strength he moved his arms and body to sit up. His back and chest were sore from the trees and his arms where sore too, however they didn't feel broken, though his left shoulder was in throbbing pain. Slowly he brought his legs up pushing himself up, as was his arms, his legs were just sore, a good sign of not breaking any bones.

He stumbled forward leaning against a tree. It was hard to move but he could, that was good, especially since it was cold, and would be only getting colder. He looked around again and noticed something. There was smoke above the tree line. Seeing the smokes he headed to the source, going from tree to tree.

After what seemed like forever he saw the smoke getting closer, he must be getting close with how thick the smoke is but he wasn't sure, all he knew is that it was getting dark, and he was losing his strength quickly, he had to hurry.

It couldn't have been any more than ten minutes before he say his goal. It was a luxury cabin out in the middle of what seemed like nowhere. "Help..." Kara wheezed out weakly full well no one could hear it.

He stumbled over to the door at the front of the door giving a weak knock that not even a Fennec fox could hear before collapsing slamming his head onto the door as he collapsed. Fortunately his head hit hard enough to get the attention of the occupants as the door opened and Kara slipped out of consciousness as he was pulled inside.

The Silver Lining Chapter 1 (critique requested)

Karafox

Just something I threw together a year or two back, its been gathering dust, but hey I wanna show case some of my stuff that i don't mind showing. Cover art is not mine, google dragged it home to me.

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