Greetings dear customer, our doors are finally open.
You have likely heard of me and my products for a while now. At the very least, my research has been publicised in many avenues. Some of you may have even been employed as test subjects.
Regardless, this is now your opportunity to try some of my good for yourselves.
Here, peruse my menu of potions, and you may use them to fulfill your wildest dreams. I even offer experimental doses, if you would like something stronger... If a little more dangerous.

Please, make your choices from the menu, fill out the associated ordering form, and then drop in a message, so that I may fulfill your order.
Remember, effects are not guaranteed, Friendly Fiend is not responsible for the destruction of property, body parts, city infrastructure or the fabric of reality. All sales are final, no refunds.

Ta taa~