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Happy Birthday by Jerimiahwolf (critique requested)

Happy Birthday (critique requested)

Jerimiahwolf

Side effects of a girl turning into a woman include cramping, bloating, irritability, mood swings and hair in funny places. Unfortunately, these are also side effects of lycanthropy, so doctors recommend getting yourself checked as soon as possible.

Oh, and blood. Can't forget all the blood.

Amber sighed, slouching down in her seat. Stupid family. Stupid life.

Tiki torches lit the expanse of her back yard, and her family was milling about in the twilight amongst tables of punch. Somewhere one of her aunts burst into laughter and doubled over, prompting a good many shaking heads. Not a single person under eighteen, just the birthday girl.

Amber watched this all balefully, cute nose scrunched in defiance to the festive atmosphere. Not that she had any friends to invite- her nickname at school was flat-top, thanks to some really screwed up genes; She'd gotten the talk and sex ed, but never made that last biological jump between a girl and woman. It haunted her since middle school, and by the end of high school it had turned into the biggest joke in school. Not that cramping and bleeding meant all that much to her, but...

Amber sighed, and a warm arm slid across her shoulders.

"You're not going to sulk over here alone all night, are you?" Her mother's tone was light, but just enough barb was in her voice to make the frowning girl glance up. "Are you, birthday girl?"

"I kinda just..." Amber started, then sighed again. "Couldn't we just have a little party this year? I know I don't have many friends, but I could have at least thrown a few invitations out instead of all... old people. Its like they HAD to come, not wanted to come."

"Your family." A comforting squeeze followed, as her mother continued. "If they didn't want to be here, they wouldn't come. Now stop frowning- We're going to cut the cake. And then its presents."

Cake, at least, rated higher than punch and talk about grandma's latest bout of sickness. A kiss to the forehead was enough to bring a smile unbidden to Amber's lips, and her mother broke away to head into the house.

Slowly a chorus of 'Happy Birthday to you' began winding up, uncles and aunts joining the din once they caught onto what was happening. Her father appeared in the doorway, carrying the cake- A ring of eighteen candles illuminated his grinning face, the glare off his glasses all but obscuring his eyes. The song concluded with the three-layer treat being placed before Amber, the candles wavering in the light evening breeze.

"Make a wish, sweetie." Her mother needled from over her shoulder, a smile in her voice.

There was really only one wish for Amber, and as she sucked in the deepest breath she could, and held it in her heart.

No more Flat-Top.

She exhaled with all her might, the candles snuffing out into small lingering clouds of smoke. The customary applause followed, and Amber grinned in spite of herself. The wish might be worth its weight in gold, but at least with the candles out there was cake.

The first signal all was not right was when her teeth began to ache- Not debilitatingly, but enough to draw her attention. Her tongue butted up against a canine as it curved long and lethal from her gums, and her eyes widened in shock.

The applause continued for a few moments longer, nobody seeming to notice as Amber clamped her mouth shut. All at once her simple white dress felt... wrong, itchy, constricting. Cold sweat broke out across her skin and she squirmed in place, as plates were being passed out.

All at once a bristling sensation along her arm drew her eyes, and she stared in mortification as dark hairs spilled from the pores of her left hand. The fingers of that hand were bunching up as well, nails sinking into the digits and darkening to curved black claws.

Her heart raced as she made to rise from her chair, to escape before these changes were caught by her family members. A rush of tightness froze her on the spot as her tailbone's ache turned into a sharp tearing sound, a naked tail blossoming with fur as it caught its first evening breeze. The few that didn't notice the ripping sound didn't miss her nearly canine yelp of shock.

Amber froze on the spot, as bristling hair began to creep along her jaw and her nose cooled into a dark wet pad. Something instinctive rolled up her throat, the first silver slice of moon cresting the trees drawing a long sonorous howl from deep inside.

"Happy birthday, sweetie." Her mother whispered from behind, broad paws resting on the changing girl's shoulders as they thickened with muscle and fur. Tomorrow would be different, yes- Her little girl was finally a woman.

Submission Information

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404
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Rating:
General
Category:
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Comments

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    Plot twist!
    Really though, I wasn't expecting that. The last paragraph brought it all together though. Good job!