Y'all... it's time. I couldn't keep it bottled up forever. Klee Shay heard about this new fad of selling worthless JPEGs to rich investors and demanded a piece of the pie. But the more I dug into it, the more it sounded super-complicated and apparently also wastes a lot of energy, and I'm not about either of those things. Besides, why chase trends when you can set them? And so, I present to you... the Purely I-Say-So Exclusivity Register, or P.I.S.S.E.R. for short. Backed by my own word and nothing else, the entire register has a smaller energy requirement than the computer I used to draw the pictures in the first place. That means the more of them people buy, the more energy we're saving! I am literally saving the planet by doing this; you're welcome.

Anyway, yeah, everything you need to know is right there in the picture. As a person who can code a website and replace a dead hard drive, I clearly know everything about technology and, by extension, everything else, so I can guarantee that P.I.S.S.E.R. is the future of everything. Money, video games, laws, breakfast burritos, everything will be based off the buying and selling of pictures of a little blue and white dog. Forget the moon, we're takin' this baby clear to Pluto! Which we will then re-designate as a planet. Screw the haters!