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Why? by Fen Flux

Why?

Fen Flux

I'm having an emo Moment.

So sue me.

_______________________________

Basically I feel like crap.

I have a fluffed up hand that's constantly sore.

I fail at university and I hate it.

University makes me hate the prospect of becoming a teacher.

I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

I'm working at McDonalds.

And yet everyone keeps telling me "It'll get better."/"the pain will go away"/"It gets easier"

PFFFT.

Hate to sound pessimistic here but people have being saying that shit to me for YEARS. Yeah, it's had it's moments of betterness.... then I decide to get in a car that decides to do a barrel roll. (Seriously, not as fun as it sounds)

And it gets 500 times worse.

I lose use of my thumb, seriously fracture my wrist and now have "unsightly" scarring and a thumb that just sits there being all fat and lumpy and hairy because it thinks it's a leg.

AND when I get older, my wrist is going to degenerate a lot faster than everyone else's. Not to mention my thumb and knuckles.

So seriously, When is it going to get better?

___________________________________

Where for art thou anatomy?

Submission Information

Views:
542
Comments:
15
Favorites:
2
Rating:
General
Category:
Visual / Digital

Comments

  • Link

    Do no give up, it is true a lot of people say things get better and they don't. But instead you can start doing some workouts for your hands. Somethings get broken and can never get repaired, but this is not true, specially for our human bodies. I was born with weak knees, and everyday I'd fall on my knees when I was little cause I somehow knew if I were exposed to pain I'd get used to it, not only that worked for me, but my knees got stronger.

    I have spine issues and keep pushing myself further, and further. I'm stubborn, I didn't give up even though it hurts. It is not about how good one feels, but to endure the pain, there is challenge, I took it and endure the pain and it felt good. I don't like universities cause I'm a spatial thinker, it's hard for me to understand their system as I need visual aid to understand. I struggle to keep up, I struggle to keep average, but doesn't mean I'll be average all my life, for those who endure hard times there is a greater victory.

    Though I won't lie, it'll take years before that to happen, I got a damage wrist myself, my right one, I abused after getting damage to get used to the pain, I work out and found ways to use it so naturally i won't get easily hurt. To keep up with people, as writing gets it tired really fast. Yet I don't give up.

    And we all start somewhere, it doesn't matter where you began, or where you end up. It matters what you did to get out of there, to get where you are.

    • Link

      I'm not giving up on anything. This picture is just a vent of how I feel.

      Also, my thumb WILL NOT and CAN NOT get better. It will never move again.

      It's not a case of me not trying or persevering. I did that and got almost normal movement out of all my fingers again. My thumb is a different story.

      When it got injured, the bone in it was shattered. This includes the joints from my wrist to my thumb and the joint at the "base" of my thumb. This bone was then replaced with one straight bone from my leg and supported with various bolts and wires.

      No joints=no movement.

      In addition to this, a large majority of the tendons in my thumb were destroyed during the accident.

      No tendons=no movement.

      I cannot move my thumb. It will not get better. It will only deteriorate with age

      • Link

        I've seen a lot of people who have been told they won't be able to move again, they won't be able to walk again, they won't be able to move a single finger again. I don't think the human body is that weak, not with a strong will. And there are miracles created by stubborn people. Don't give up on anything, be stubborn, struggle as long as it can be.

        A good example would be my mother when she was told she had terminal cancer, only one month they gave her. I was around 12 years old when they told us this, I'm 27 now and my mom is still alive, she's stubborn and didn't give up. Fought cancer and cheated her way out. Now she's healthy, healthier than me. I've learned that the human body can heal by itself, and I know very well that the human body can get stronger and repair itself, even from shattered bones. Our bodies are not just simple things that once they break they won't heal on their own.

        • Link

          Do I have to draw you a picture of the inside of my hand?

          To show you that it is ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE for my thumb to move??????

          There are some things that you can be stubborn and work around/make better but my thumb is NOT one of those things.

          Do you think the solid bone in my hand is gonna one day just BEND because I willed it to? It's just not going to happen. I thought I made myself abundantly clear but I spose I didn't.

        • Link

          I'm sorry, that comment was rather scathing. But it just didn't look like you read my previous comment at all.

          I'm not giving in. I've already somehow managed to regain proper movement of all my fingers, that in itself is a miracle.

          But please, before you attempt to repeat yourself, READ what I said. See that it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to move my thumb.

          • Link

            I read that very well, but you don't realize what I'm saying. Not so long ago, a guy that had an accident lost a good chunk of his skull, they gave him a metal plate to protect his brain, later on, there was an issue and they had to remove it, to their surprise the skull had grown back and was sealed once again.

            I don't think the solid bone in your hand is gonna bend because you willed it to. I believe it'd move one day because you willed it to heal. I mean in the sense that what I believe is impossible to move your thumb is that you didn't had a thumb to move. That would be impossible.

            • Link

              Not sure if you saw this, I posted it wrong

              *headdesks*

              One, impossible

              Two, most of that made very little sense.

              • Link

                Not sure if you saw this:

                One, you got flesh and bones in there.

                Two, other people had it worse and did the impossible possible.

                • Link

                  Not sure if you know this but you're an idiot.

                • Link

                  Tell you what Skoll, you get the thumb of your choosing, snap the bone from wrist to tip into cubular shapes and make it heal. Once you have done that, then you can come to me and say "look! With perseverance and some idiotic thoughts that my hand was gonna heal, I healed my hand! and look! It can move!" I will take your word for it then.

                  I will try my hardest and tell everyone that my hand will heal.

                  And if it doesn't, I will kick you so hard in the genitals that your eyes will bleed.

                  Because you're absolutely full of shit.

                  You have no idea what I've been through, you have no idea the pain I'm in and your tiny brain can't seem to comprehend that some things just DON'T heal, no matter how much you believe otherwise.

                  So fuck off.

                  Until you've used your magical willpower to heal a seemingly unhealable injury, fuck off.

                  • Link

                    So bones in thumbs can't grow, but 60% of the bone of the skull can? So a person injures his nerves and joints and set to never walk again and yet the defy that and walk again, but a thumb can't. A person who has cancer is dead, even in terminal state with less than a month, yet they are still alive. You underestimate willpower and the human ability to heal.

                    • Link

                      As I said, snap your thumb and replace it with your leg, magically heal it and THEN come tell me how wrong I was.

                      Until then, go fuck a cactus.

                      • Link

                        Well, that seems pretty mature of you.

                        • Link

                          It also seems damn mature of you not to leave me the fuck alone, or haven't you noticed that your imbecilic comments have pissed me off just a bit?

                          I understand that bits can grow back, but not when there's something completely different directly in the way. And not that large a chunk. and not after that much damage. But you seem adamant that if I wish and will my hand to heal, it will magically go back to normal.

                          It's not going to happen. Even if there were evidence to back up your pea-brained theory I would not believe it. I would not set myself up for major disappointment.

                          If we could do stuff by sheer will, I'd be able to fly, be the best artist in the world and you would be making sexytimez with that cactus already.

                          But my will doesn't bend reality, so I just have to deal with the fact that I can't fly, I'm not the best artist, you aren't gonna fuck a cactus and that my hand isn't going to heal of its own accord.

  • Link

    *headdesks*

    One, impossible

    Two, most of that made very little sense.