Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste

I've been around for a long, long year, stole many a man's soul to waste

And I was 'round when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain

Made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate

I stuck around St. Petersburg when I saw it was a time for a change

Killed the czar and his ministers - Anastasia screamed in vain

I rode a tank, held a general's rank

When the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank

I watched with glee while your kings and queens

Fought for ten decades for the gods they made

I shouted out, "Who killed the Kennedys?"

When after all it was you and me

Let me please introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste

And I laid traps for troubadours, who get killed before they reached Bombay

Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name

But what's confusing you is just the nature of my game

Just as every cop is a criminal and all the sinners saints

As heads is tails, just call me Lucifer

'Cause I'm in need of some restraint

So if you meet me have some courtesy

Have some sympathy, and some taste

Use all your well-learned politesse

Or I'll lay your soul to waste