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still life 2 by Doki

still life 2

Doki

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Submission Information

Views:
133
Comments:
4
Favorites:
0
Rating:
General
Category:
Visual / Traditional

Comments

  • Link

    Since you said in a message on the forums that you were looking for feedback...

    Am I correct in thinking this is a photograph of a piece done in traditional media? I see what certainly looks to me to be a shadow line running up and left on the left-hand side of the bottle.

    At any rate, let me first say I think this shows considerable promise. Drawing anything glass is a challenge because of how glass can distort light through it. You've done a very good job of capturing that in the neck and shoulder of the bottle, and showing the distortion of objects behind and seen through the glass.

    Your perspective is a bit off; the lines of objects should be converging to a vanishing point. That point doesn't necessarily have to be inside the frame of the image, but they should converge, not be parallel. This is particularly noticeable on objects in the background of the image, but the foreground shows it as well. The related problem is the POV; the way the image is laid out, the angle of view feels like it should be more horizontal, given the number of objects in the background. However then line angles in the foreground look more like a bird's eye view from up near the ceiling, looking down at what I'd estimate to be about a 30-to-45 degree angle. This can probably be fixed by correcting the perspective issue as well.

    As a composition - layout, focus of image and so forth - I like this. It's clear that the bottle and the effect of viewing things through it is the main point of interest in the image.

    Please do keep working and developing your talent; I look forward to seeing more from you.

    • Link

      Thank you! And yes it was a photo of the drawing since my scanner is much too small. I see what your saying about the angles all being awry and not totally from the same view. I guess it doesn't help that this was done over two days so my perspective was off.

      But thank you again for the critique! I means a lot to me.

      • Link

        You're very welcome! I had a look at the colour still life, and I get the feeling it was done after the black-and-white one; the perspective seems much better. Would I be right?

        • Link

          Yep the painting was done a couple days later and on a stand ( so that even though it took a week to complete it would stay in the same place no matter what). I'm pretty proud of the table cloth on that one.