The hot hazy days of summer seemed to be a thing of the past when Aluran awoke that morning. Not that he was complaining. He had endured worse situations, but having suffered under the suffocating, sticky heat of the sun the last two months had left him partial to the brisk morning air. It didn't help that he was heavily pregnant. Bulbous and ready to burst, Aluran wanted nothing more than to end it all. Whether he meant the pregnancy or his life, he wasn't sure anymore.

Aluran shifted in his place upon his traveling companion's packhorse. No position was comfortable at this point. His belly was too large to accommodate and the pressure too much for his aching spine. A part of him felt pity for the animal carrying him. If he felt so miserable being nine months along, he wondered how Loufcup felt having to carry him.

He hated this pregnancy. Despised it even.

He'd watched with a sense of dread as his body changed. He felt the chemistry of his hormones shift to accommodate the parasite growing within him. He was ashamed to admit it, but Aluran had tried to remove the creature more than once from his womb. He'd lost count the number of times he'd put himself in danger all for the sake of destroying the thing inside, but each and every time he failed.

Guilt welled up within his chest. He suddenly found it hard to breathe. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. He thought of Tebric again and felt the shame burn him like hot iron against his heart.

"Aluran, are you alright?"

Aluran snapped back to reality with the force of a falling boulder. He wiped at the corner of his eyes and swallowed thickly.

Egalan, his traveling companion, and savior of the last few months, eyed him in concern.

"Y-yes," Aluran breathed, mouth dry. His tongue felt heavy with the lie. "Sorry to alarm you. I was lost in thought."

Egalan's eyes shifted to Aluran's round belly for barely a second. He turned his attention back to the pathway, carefully guiding Loufcup along.

"Care to share?" He pressed quietly.

Aluran tensed.

"I rather not." He murmured.

The valon nodded. He knew better than to push, especially when Aluran's pregnancy was involved, and for that, Aluran was grateful.

They fell into a comfortable silence afterward, listening to the sound of leaves crunch beneath Loufcup's hooves and the birds squawking in the distance. The melody of nature soothed Aluran's anxieties. He forced his mind to blank and focused on the warm hues of leaves as they traveled.

The last remnants of the afternoon's warmth gave way to the chilly breeze of nightfall. Aluran wrapped his cloak tightly around his body, struggling to keep heat from escaping into the cold air. Egalan seemed unbothered by the shift in temperature, though Aluran suspected it had something to do with the fact that Egalan had been walking for the last two hours.

"We should rest," He suggested when the silence of dusk became too much to bear. "We've travelled far enough already. You must be exhausted."

"I am," Egalan said, his tone placating to ease Aluran's tension. "We'll rest once we find a good place to set up camp."

"Egalan-" He stopped, his words forgotten.

The older valon glanced at him, curiosity in his hazel eyes, but Aluran's attention was no longer on him. He stared off into the distance, unfocused and strangely dazed. His body was wound up so tightly it was painful. He would ache for days, but this... this feeling. It was horrifying.

He'd felt the little monster move.

Aluran was used to the shifts. He was used to the painful kicking, the strange rolling. Once, he felt the parasite press a hand so harshly against his womb, Aluran swore it was trying to escape its imprisonment. He had nightmares for weeks about it afterward. It took countless nights of having Egalan comfort him and convince him it was impossible for babies to escape that way, but Aluran found it hard to believe. This creature wasn't a baby, it was a monster. A disgusting Karkanspawn that had no business existing in this world.

It kicked again. Then again.

"Aluran? Is something wrong?"

The pregnant valon forced himself to respond. He opened his mouth, another excuse formulating on his tongue when suddenly he felt a trickle of liquid gush down his legs.

A shuddering breath escaped his parted lips.

Egalan frowned. "Aluran?"

Aluran remained upright, his face ashen and his body cold. It trembled, not from the brisk bite of the night air, but from the panic that bubbled inside his chest. He wanted to scream. He wanted to curse and yell; to kick the trees for the destiny he was given, but he did none of those things. He sat on Loufcup with his back ramrod straight, knuckles ghostly white against the reins and stared into the concerned warm eyes of Egalan.

And instead of screaming and crying and cursing the universe, he said: "My water broke."

Egalan frowned, disturbed by Aluran's calm demeanor for such a startling admission. He laid a gentle hand on top of the valon's knee and was alarmed by how cold his skin felt.

"Aluran?"

Anxiety zipped between them. Then, without warning, Aluran slid off the packhorse and came tumbling down to the cruel hard ground.

"Aluran!"

When Aluran woke again, it was to the intense pain of labor splitting him apart. He crawled onto his hands and knees, legs pulled apart as another contraction speared his womb. Sweat dripped from his forehead as he breathed, his limbs trembling from the strain and the pain that enveloped him whole. He held onto Egalan's hand as tightly as he could, squeezing it harshly when another contraction pulsed. A part of him still sane and logical despite the pain felt pity for Egalan's hand. He was pretty sure he would break the poor valon's bones if he held on tight enough.

Egalan held him steady, whispering soothing words of encouragement Aluran felt he did not deserve. Not for this monstrosity tearing its way out of him.

Another contraction.

He screamed. Tears streamed from his eyes.

"Breathe Aluran, just breathe!"

Egalan's voice was like a silk blanket being thrown over him on a hot day. It was soft and smooth, heavy in tone but comforting. It anchored him to the ground, kept him close to Earth and away from the painful experience of childbirth. Aluran focused on the baritone of Egalan's voice. He counted the seconds between his breaths and rode out the contractions as best he could.

For hours and hours, Aluran held onto Egalan. He screamed and cried; cursed the world and the Karkans. He took deep breaths, gulped down all the air he could store in his lungs and released it in slow, shuddering breaths.

He thought of Tebric again. How grateful he was his everyn wasn't here to witness this monstrosity but how distraught he felt that it wasn't their child he was birthing. It was too late now. There was no going back.

From hours to minutes, Aluran's contractions grew closer together. His knees were raw from scraping against the harsh forest ground, his body covered in sweat and bodily filth. His hair was plastered against his scalp and neck, dripping with perspiration. It must have been an ugly sight and he dared not look into any reflective surfaces until days had passed. Weeks even. Probably for months. He felt disgusting.

And yet he pushed.

He held onto Egalan's hand for so long, it had turned pale and cold within his sweaty grip. It was almost frightening how disturbingly off color it appeared, but Egalan showed no signs of discomfort. He kept his eyes on Aluran, ordered him to breathe; to stay calm as much as he could. He told him to push. Breathe and push.

Breathe and push.

And so he did.

It felt like an eternity of pain and pushing, but Aluran willed himself to continue. He fought against the exhaustion, fought against the urge to rip out the damn creature with his own bare hands. He pushed and pushed until finally, it ended.

The wailing cries of an infant filled the small hut around them. Egalan moved with a swiftness Aluran hadn't seen since the time he threw himself into the river in June. He scooped up the purplish, wailing child into his arms and wiped away the ick from its body with a tenderness that looked almost alien to Aluran.

With the last of his strength, Aluran collapsed onto his side, exhausted beyond belief and sore from the strain he put his body through. He felt disgusting. Soaked from head to toe in sweat and blood. The shirt he wore throughout labor was damp and heavy against his overheated skin. He wanted nothing more than to rip it clean off but dared not to move. His arms refused to obey his command and he doubted he had the strength to sit up after hours and hours of labor. He could live with the minor discomfort.

He watched Egalan with heavy lids as the older valon placed the child into a makeshift bed. In truth, it was only a collection of blankets bundled together to form a very small mound. It wouldn't do much in the long run, but it did what it needed to for the moment. Had circumstances been better, Aluran would have felt affection toward the hastily done up bed. Egalan had tried his best, he always did. In the months that they traveled together, Egalan had always tried to give Aluran the best comfort he could. He appreciated the valon more than he could ever say. He turned to Aluran, concern and admiration in his eyes.

"Let's get you cleaned up." He smiled tenderly. He leaned toward the worn out valon and quietly, almost delicately as though Egalan were fearful of Aluran breaking, nudged their noses together.

Aluran felt like his heart would explode. He nudged back, exhausted and terrified, but indebted for Egalan's presence.

Egalan's hands were gentle. They were calloused from early days of hard labor and just as strong, but right now, they were tender and warm, like the touch of a valon taking care of their everyn. With a clean, soaked cloth, he wiped the exhausted valon from head to toe. Aluran watched numbly as the basin turned a murky pink from the blood Egalan cleaned off his thighs. It was almost therapeutic the way Egalan washed his body. Perhaps maybe even a little erotic had life for them been different. The warmth of the water was a blessing against Aluran's sore muscles. It took a lot of energy for the valon to stay awake.

Before he knew it, he was clean and refreshed, dressed in a long shirt that served as a nightgown. Egalan draped a few layers of blankets around his worn out body to keep warm during the cold autumn night. The nights were not yet worthy for the furs they had stored in a travel pack on Loufcup, but Aluran sensed winter would come early. If the wind was harsh enough to bite his skin, he could only imagine how cold he would be after hours of labor.

Sleep tugged at his eyelids, but the stubborn valon resisted. He didn't want to sleep just yet.

Egalan returned to the quiet bundle sleeping soundly in its makeshift bed. Aluran watched with a sense of trepidation as Egalan cradled the wrinkly, ugly child in his arms. His movements were a little clumsy, but careful and kind. The child didn't stir and for whatever reason, it made Egalan smile.

The image seared itself into Aluran's mind.

It was beautiful and painful all at once. Emotions build up inside him: yearning, Regret. Guilt and shame. They converged within him like a storm ready to burst.

Egalan would have made a great father.

The thought lingered in his mind like a ten-pound weight. The image of Egalan holding the wrapped up bundle of blankets lasted even as his vision darkened and faded. He fell asleep without a word, the soft tune of Egalan humming to the newborn the last thing he hears until morning.