Goblin by DankeShane



12 April 2016 at 04:39:17 MDT

the bulk of the enemy forces is made up of goblins, and theyre the most annoying and diverse grunt in the game. Using tridents to maintain distance, small cross bows, cinquedea swords, terra cotta grenades, and caltrops, they work effectively in small units and utilize teamwork to overcome much larger enemies. Appearing as flightless bats with long arms, they tend to wear helmets that are a hybrid of Gallic and eastern Multa helms to protect their ears and faces, since their bodies are so small they make for poor targets centrally speaking, especially with small bucklers guarding their center mass
....Im amazed outside of Spiderwick no one else thought of bats for goblins. there's so many varieties too it's like "Ok, perfect reference, and btw, is that Chapin's Bat with a stylish mohawk?". With Nibbler/Stitch-like high-pitched unintelligible voices and vermin squeals, about their daily roguish cavortings in their nested den of iniquities, gambling on cricket fights, some of their fraternal number even wearing little Mongol hats made out of acorns and desman fur and their snakeskin vests

there are, unfortunately according to the laws that be, no such things as female goblins either, so for risque and titillating entertainment they'd most likely have to hire a dirty pixie/sprite to dance for them or, more aligned with their usual behavior, probably catch one in a weighted cobweb strung between two trees

I have no idea what goblins drink either for meading grog. Gooseberry ale? Shroom Juice? the collective tears of wee bairns?

most likely would ride barking tarantulas, maybe use them like the native americans and pull sledges with them, eat them during sieges, etc, or a scorpion as a mobile catapult

they probably move like monkeys too for the long arms, little tiny monkeys/lemurs with bat heads, hatched from the balls of dung beetles like eggs during the rainy season. that grey hairy or white mold you see? goblin fur during transformation

droves of them you know, like a wave of rodents, scaling surfaces with ease, and full of fiendish cunning. they can jump like fleas too, and have such fluffy coats and lightweight structure theyre like trying to kill a roach for impact resistance and flexibility. why, the breeze of your passing hand or foot would probably provide them with that added cushion of air needed to evade you, like a ball of lint before the broom

think of how fast a mouse's heartbeat is, and then think of how quickly they could think for that bloodflow, full of anxious, agitated, tightly-wound tremoring, and constant preening, grooming each other for mites and lice for an easy snack

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