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Oh, Xoftfosa You Red Fox by Coonotafoofox (critique requested)

Oh, Xoftfosa You Red Fox

Oh, Xoftfosa You Red Fox

As the day winds down, a fox, by the self proclaimed name of Xoftfosa, trots by the same old set of trees she passes everyday before she reaches her den. But today she notices something is different. Something is hanging on the bear trap, the one she knows to avoid. When she gets closer for a better view she sees a man hanging from that said trap.
She yells out “Ha ha ha how ironic, now you're in the mercy of me!”
The man calls out “Help me who ever you are! I know I heard a voice!” The man had not known who said the words.
“You are a farmer are you not?” Said the fox.
“Umm.. yes? Why is that important?” Said the man.
“I can easily bite through the rope that entraps you, but I expect a return if I do so.” Said the fox
“Who...what are you?” Said the man.
“I’m but a fox of course!” Said Xoftfosa proudly.
“Okay fox, help me!” Said the man.
“I will, but for 6 of your finest chickens!” Xoftfosa announced.
“I’ve been up here for 2 days, and I would be a fool the refuse!” The man said.
“Okay, but I will hold you to your verbal agreement. Cross me not, for I will be a powerful enemy if you so choose too!”
After almost 20 minutes of biting the rope it finally gave way, realising the man. He fell a good three feet, right on to his face. He got up and shook it off.
“Follow me fox, I will honor my word, even if you are a beast and I am a man.” Said the man
As they were walking towards a farm, just up a hill, the man asked, “What is your name, or do animals have names?”
The fox responded “Most of the animal of the forest have names, seldom do the more intelligent animals have no name. I am called Xoftfosa!”
“That is good to know.” said the man.
“What is your name?” asked Xoftfosa
“John Warwell.” said the man
“That is good to know!” said Xoftfosa
After 5 minutes they went into the entrance of John’s farm, they were at the chicken house shortly after.
John then said “You know your fur is worth a good amount of money to us humans, right?
“Yes I’m aware of that, but why do you bring up such a question?” asked Xoftfosa.
The fox started to slowly back away.
“Because” said the man.
“Sick ‘em!” He Yelled!
Just then, 2 good sized hound dog came out of nowhere! Xoftfosa ran and yell “You fool, you will most certainly pay for this!”
She ran for nearly 3 minutes be for she decided to dip down into the hold she calls her den. She knew the dogs were just big enough not to fit in the entrance. That did not stop the one who lunged toward the entrance. The dog then found himself stuck, his head went in, but would not come out. She knew that this would be the result as soon as she went in her den. She also knew that there was a good sized rock she used for protect herself in the den. Just then, Xoftfosa picked up the rock and bashed the hound in the face as her as she could. This knocked the dog unconscious. Little did the dogs know, there was a back entrance to the den. She slipped out, still carrying the rock, and saw the other dog whimpering due to the event that just happened. She snuck up on the other dog and bashed it on the head as well, knocking him unconsious! She then hopped up and down joyfully and said “No one but I, could have pulled this off! I am clever and cunning, I must say!” She then finished the dogs off and had a great feast, that lasted her 3 three weeks. Afterwards, she returned to the farm to talk to the man who betrayed her. As soon as she entered the farm she saw him plowing a field. Making sure to keep her distance, she then called out “Remember me?” John turned around saw who it was, and then yell out “You bastard! Where are my dogs!”
“Oh, I know exactly where your beloved dogs are, and how they taste too!” She yelled with a non-benevolent smile.
She watched as the man’s confused face turned to one of anger.
“You bastard, you’re dead!” He screamed!
Xoftfosa then took off as fast as she could knowing the man could not catch up with her, nor did he know where she lived!
When she arrived safely at home she said “Oh, what a fool he is, never try to outfox a fox!”

Oh, Xoftfosa You Red Fox (critique requested)

Coonotafoofox

Random art work! But the story is quite experimental. When it comes to writing I'm a noob! I had a story in mind, and by Gawd I typed it! There is probably some serious grammatical errors in it, partially due to the type of style I chose to write in!

Don't be afraid to tell me what you think!

Submission Information

Views:
297
Comments:
3
Favorites:
3
Rating:
General
Category:
Literary / Story

Comments

  • Link

    Pretty good art and story.
    Just have a few things to say though. The last sentence of the 13th line "Cross me not, for I will be a powerful enemy if you so choose too!” the sentence is a little confusing, consider rewording it. Line 14, releasing is spelled wrong. Line 36, you might want to use the word malevolent instead of "non-benevolent." Malevolent is a stronger sounding expression as it is a loaded word.
    There are some grammatical mistakes but its probably just because Weasyl isn't the same as Microsoft Word.
    Hope this helps.

    • Link

      Thanks for your input.
      line 13 would probably be better if it were "Cross me not, for I will be a powerful enemy if you choose too!"
      Yeah I saw that misspelling and a couple of others too!
      Malevolent... I wish I knew that word existed at the time! Well, better add it to my word bank for the future.
      Actually I used google docs, which correct some mistakes and not others. But generally I make grammatical mistakes typing and while speaking.

      • Link

        Your very welcome!