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Poems for a pal by bogm0nst3r (critique requested)

cinquain form

When you flatten, you’re like a boss
or when you mold someone into something more
I take pleasure as I spy
Though you can be scary, I want to cry
but I won’t, lest I be a mat upon your floor

An attempt at a sonnet

When you put on your fierce face
all know to scatter to get some place safe
When they scatter, it’s like a race
Even if they experienced a bad chafe
Your hammer swings without hesitation
though it seems it’s heavy, you act as if it were light
Oh how it slams down without resignation
on those you want to smite
Though you mold them, it’s a fate
I do find grim
Worse than the word exterminate
even if it is your whim.
As you get closer to me, I cannot flee
I see you dropped a safe on me

Rondeau form

When you’re angry, we go and run
Because we know there weren’t be fun
Your mighty hammer will slam down
You make everyone scatter around town
Even those who were getting things done.

When you take the ones you’ve flattened
You sometimes stuff them ‘til their fattened
And use them as a cushion for your bum
When you’re angry.

It fills us with dread, and we look up
To see if something’s upon us, you pup
To avoid anything falling on us
No tanks can stop your mighty fuss
When you’re angry.

Tanka Form

We run when you’re mad
We fear your mighty hammer
Though you are so cute
You are like a baby pup
It’s best to keep our guard up

Abecedarian Form

Admittedly, you are scarey
But your demeanor says otherwise,
Creating an unsuspecting air about you
Doing nothing more than acting silly
Exterminating any suspiciousness
Fooling everyone that you’re not up to anything
Grunts are unheard from you as you squash them down
However tall or short they be
Ice cream shops get new toppings
Jello with flabbergasted expressions inside of them are now on stock
Kids look to you for inspiration
Learning of your ways to fool the rest
Mothers are those fooled most by you
Nothing can stop you once you’re mad
Oh joy! The tanks are here!
People who know you know the tanks are doomed
Quietly, people try to sneak by
Running seems to be no good
Stores are empty
Toy shops have new toys
Underneath your cuteness lies a prankster
Viewing who will be your next target
waiting
yearning to have more fun
zest waiting to be added to the day.

Poems for a pal (critique requested)

bogm0nst3r

I did this for a pal over on FA. It contains five poems, each of which are very similar while different in form. I missed up the sonnet because iambic pentameter is very difficult for me.

Submission Information

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Literary / Poetry / Lyrics