Lines By http://herrcolonel.tumblr.com/post/103169566476/buy-now-its-the-deal-of-the-century-based-on
Speed Paint http://youtu.be/ggGmnWBEVPo
Song used http://youtu.be/YKtlK7sn0JQ (How can I not)

"Soldier" is a bright-eyed loyal little fellow looking for his "Forever home". Not house-trained. Would make a great familiar for wizards just starting out. Call Merasmus the Magician at 555-0992. $3 or for free or best offer.

(Yes I copied from that add thingy https://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/4/40/Halloween_2012_Teufort_Reader.png?t=20121024051209 )

But wait if you call now you can get this lovable oaf for the low low price of $2. Deal of the century I tell you. Call now and we will include a pile of Raccoon for absolutely free