Delphi's Paradigm OR Apollo's New Pants by Apollo (critique requested)

First person practice! Highschool, classes, girlfriends, a little love here and there with some attempts at comedy! Enjoy <3

Links to the songs mentioned~;ob=av2e A Day To Remember - The Downfall Of Us All;ob=av2e Confide - Such Great Heights (The Postal Service cover) We Came As Romans - To Move On Is To Grow 30 Seconds To Mars - Kings And Queens Forever The Sickest Kids - Woah Oh! (Me vs Everyone)

Apollo debuts a new pair of pants at school, and shows them off around school.

I felt like I'd just been kicked in the face, but that's what it's always like when my alarm goes off in the morning. Sort of half-lost in my own subconscious, I tried reaching for my cell phone to turn off the alarm but my arms themselves felt like rocks. Laughing at this, I finally snatched my phone and opened it to shut off that really obnoxious alarm. It wasn't the first one, because I have to set up more than one to wake me up. I'm a very, very heavy sleeper. Oops.

5:30 in the morning. This was the part where I get up and take a shower. Instead, I laid on my back- wait. Reaching underneath, I had to fix my tail 'cause I sat on it weird. Then I checked my messages - Ahhh, Jessy texted me!

Morning goldyface <3

Goldyface. One of her many nicknames for me, though this was one of her favorites because she really liked my fur coat. Risking a blow to my masculinity, I had to admit I did too; gold is a really great color to work with. I had some white on my chest down and stuff, to break up the monotony, but enough about that. Throwing the sheets aside, I stood and stretched, yawning and scratching different parts of myself in all manners of indecency as I wandered over to my bathroom door. I continued texting Jessica, and she kept teasing me with her arsenal of nicknames, but it only made me smile.

Me and Jessy had been dating for...I honestly don't remember how long, she was better at remembering than me, but if you knew her, you wouldn't be surprised. Jessy was an incredible student - she'd never admit it, but she was. She made honor roll every year, and she's a super aggressive AP student. Seriously. If I hadn't known her, I'd group her with all of those other amazing AP students that I'm scared of. Like, if you said the wrong thing to them, they'd think you to death or something. Not that she would, Jessy hated dead things. She was beautiful too - Jessy was a mix of husky and wolf, and she was in fantastic shape. A little shorter than me by maybe an inch or two, she was all chocolate brown with some tan on her front. You wouldn't see much of it with her clothes on, but you'd never see her with her clothes off unless you were me, either. In addition to being a super-student, she sang, volunteered, worked at the local grocery store as an assistant manager, and painted in her spare time.

I know what you're thinking - how the hell does she do all that and still have time for me? I honestly have no clue. But I'm really glad she does, because that girl is an amazing person to be around. And that's why I welcome her teasing, because to me, it shows she cares, and that's enough for me, because Jessica Laurel is the girl of my dreams.

Excuse me, I've gotten off-track. Feeling thoroughly warm and fuzzy inside, I ran the shower, tail swaying as I hooked up my iPod to play through a small speaker station that I'd set up on the toilet. I liked listening to music in the morning, especially in the shower. People inject caffeine into their brains to wake up, I listen to Owl City. Or blink-182. Or A Day To Remember. Sometimes August Burns Red but my mom would wake up the second I hit play on any one of their songs. But it's usually A Day To Remember.

The shower was ready, and so I hit play, stepped in, and started bouncing along on the palms of my feet to the opening chant.

Duh-duh duh-duh duh duh. Duh-duhduh duh duh, duhduhduhduhduhduhduhduh duh duh duh duh- LET'S GO.

I immediately started headbanging, as if I was on stage with the band with a guitar in my hands, throwing water all around the safe confines of the shower, but still having fun all the same.

Today was gonna be a good day.

Shampoo and body wash later, I shook the water off my body as best I could before stepping out. It took a really long time to dry my fur, something that always bugged me, but it laid flat in the end, so I can't complain too much.

But wait-! I just remembered - I'd bought two new pairs of jeans last night after getting paid and they looked very, very good on me. Like, I'd never had a pair of sexier jeans in my life. My last pair of Levi's were way too big, as in, two waist sizes up, and loose fit. Kinda gross to me now, considering how comfortable these new jeans were, but besides the fact the new pairs actually FIT me, they didn't have any holes in them. My older pair was ripped at the cuffs with an absolutely massive hole in the right knee, a much smaller one beginning to develop on the left knee, but I'd love to deal with those instead of the gigantic rip right in the crotch.

Yup, right in the gooch. My old jeans have a vagina. Not gonna lie. I got so sick of sitting down in class with my legs wound closed like I had to piss. Funny thing is, when I bought those Levi's, back in like, 2005 when it was cool for your jeans to be fucking huge, I thought I was being cool. But I lost that pair, bought another pair later, that second pair wore out, then I found the first pair cause I didn't have money at the time, so I wore the Levi's. Forever. Until all the holes developed.

These two new pairs were amazing though. The Levi's were 36 around the waist, loose fit. These Free World jeans were size 34, regular fit, and they are fucking amazing, oh my God. One pair was black, and the other was a slightly dark blue. The blue one had turned the inside of my drier blue, but regardless, the both of them looked good on me. I really owe it to Zumies. A neighboring town had one open up and all of a sudden kids from MY town went over to that town to buy stuff from Zumies. That's how popular this store was. It was also the only store that sold keep-a-breast's "I <3 Boobies!" bracelets that had long since become a popular trend in the school. I had one of my own already, having bought one from Warped Tour back before summer ended. The huge demand for Zumies in my town's mall naturally brought it to my mall, and that's where I went, looking for new jeans. I really need to go back there someday, 'cause I have a feeling it's going to become one of my favorite stores of all time.

I'm sidetracking again.

Now I just had to decide which one to wear, and what to wear with it. I was feelin' kinda blue today. Blue's my favorite color, case you didn't know. I decided I'd wear the black pair of jeans first, and promptly slipped on some college-humor brand boxers, and then struggled into the Free World's. Skinnier than I expected, and I had to actually tuck in my boxers, but after tugging my tail through the hole, they fit like a glove. I grabbed my belt made from a seatbelt and buckled in, applied some roll-on, and tugged on a plain white shirt. Black pants and white shirt was an emerging style within the skater and hardcore cultures, and I decided it suited me just fine. There was still the matter of blue, though...oh yeah! I dug in my closet for my blue hoodie, and threw it on the bed. Battered, black Vans and one hoodie later, I bounded out of my room towards the large mirror hanging in front of the staircase, and posed.

There I was. Apollo Jonathan Legend. 5'8", sometimes 9" depending on the weather, 160 lbs, part golden retriever, mostly wolf, slim, gold fur, royal blue eyes, senior in highschool, dating a bomb girlfriend, avid guitar player, aspiring mechanic, proud car lover, patriot, and Goddamn I looked good. Before it was Hi, I'm Apollo, I'm kinda funny and my girlfriend's hot, but my jeans make me look fat and ugly, I've got a heart of gold though, wanna be my friend? Now it was Hi, I'm Apollo, these jeans make my ass looks great, but I'm dating, sorry.

I couldn't stop wagging as I gathered the last of my things. Backpack, a couple bottles of water, my blue keep-a-breast band, keys and I was out the door. I owned my own car, an older 1967 Shelby GT500 (Yeah, be jealous), but Jessy had loaned me her '94 Cherokee for the week because she didn't need it and it got better mileage than the Shelby. And if she needed a ride in an emergency, I was just a call away. I probably wasn't doing anything worthwhile anyway in the instance she called.

I started up the little red Jeep and off I was to school. I had this little radio transmitter thing in the car that allowed me to play music from my iPod through the car's radio, and soon I had a customized playlist streaming through the car, titled "Hope". It was composed of only three songs: Such Great Heights by Confide (a cover of the original by The Postal Service), To Move On Is To Grow by We Came As Romans, and Kings And Queens by 30 Seconds To Mars. The Confide song was something my friend showed me a while ago, and I liked them because their hair was way too long but it helped them because they did basically nothing but headbang in this music video. Especially the drummer, he looked like he was trying to fucking murder his set. I liked his set though, and the tattoos on his knuckles. The We Came As Romans song was a new one off of their album to be released in October, and this one song was significantly better than every single song off of We Came As Roman's debut album. In my opinion, at least. The 30 Seconds To Mars song, however, was the last because it was the best. Just about everything in the song is perfect to me, and I loved it because it feels me with hope and a sense of tranquility. All the songs did at one point, that's why the playlist was called Hope and that's I was singing the chorus to Such Great Heights, even though I can't sing quite that high.

Several lights and witnessing a near-accident later, I found myself just beating the heavy throes of traffic into the school. Seniors had the privilege of parking in the school's lot if you had a pass. Everyone else had to park at the stadium a quarter mile away and walk.

Smugly parking right in front of the school, I got my bag, locked the car and strolled in. So far, so good.

Into the cool and air conditioned highschool, I felt very at peace with the world - a rare thing for me. My head is usually full of due dates, computations, musing, music, how I looked, what I wanted to do, how I was gonna get through work today, you get the idea. But today...nope. Just me, the hallway, and the music. Ahhh, Shannon Leto. You beautiful drummer, you.

Wait, who's that...SHIT THAT'S THE GIRL THAT STALKS ME. And I dove into the library, gliding desperately past the front desk and buried myself somewhere in the haven of the rows of books. Please don't let Rachael Sumner find me. Please don't let Rachael Sumner find me. Please don't let Rachael Sumner find me. Oh GOD, please don't let Rachael Sumner find me.

He seemed to have listened, since I didn't hear nor smell any sign of the annoying human girl that insisted on following me around. I sighed in relief, all the tension in my body releasing back to the relaxed, tranquil state. That's three for three today. I was on a roll!

I sat down heavily in one of the study areas. Students were allowed in the library or cafeteria before school started to get work done or just relax, and I preferred the library 'cause it was a hell of a lot quieter then the cafe, there was less gum under the desks and it had computers that mostly worked. I checked my phone once more. Jessy had agreed to meet in the library, and my eyes snapped to the front entrance, and I started wagging, smiling, bouncing my heels to the patterns of the We Came As Romans song.

I've got something to show you when you see me ;], I'd told her over text message.

And there she was. Jessica Laurel. Chocolate brown canine girl with long, similarly colored hair, American Eagle hoodie with some stylish Aerie jeans and her own red Vans. I waved to get her attention, and she clutched some books to her chest, and walked towards me in an odd sort of waddle - her backpack was massive. Poor girl.

I started waving excitedly towards her as she got nearer, smiling, and she waved just as excitedly and our hands met. Her palm was warm, as always. "Hey supergirl." I said affectionately as she set down, or rather dumped her tremendous backpack on the desk.

"Hey superboy." She said with that familiar glimmer in her eye. Every time she got me with those jade green emeralds. Without a doubt my favorite thing about her body. We were both wagging, happy to see each other.

"Remember what I said about having something to show you?" I rubbed her knuckles with my thumbs, hinting at something for her to interpret.

"Yeah?" She took off her jacket, revealing a Forever The Sickest Kids shirt. Mine, actually. She had a habit of stealing my clothes whenever she came over. Half my wardrobe is in her closest, I swear. It's okay though, half her music library comes from me too, and it's only fair to let her share in the culture.

"Y'know that new store in the mall? Zumies?"

"Uh huh. Is this about those new pants you talked about on Facebook?"

Clever girl. "Mhmmm. You wanna see what they look like?" I winked at her, excited, bouncing in my chair a little bit.

"Yes, stand!" She commanded, and I did, stepping full on into her view, posing and smirking. "Nice..." Her eyes probed here and there, smiling, approving. "Lemme see your bum."

I learned over time that it matters how your ass looks in jeans to girls, and I was prepared today, spinning on heel, pulling my tail around my side to give her a generous view - BOOM - still smirking at her over my shoulder. My style and good shopping was rewarded by a rather lewd whistle from Jessy as well as a brief, mischievous pinch on the cheek. I stifled an expression of surprise then laughed. You never knew when Jessy would do something like that. I spun on heel again and swept her up in a proper hug. "So you like 'em?" I whispered, rubbing her back here and there as she hugged tight.

"Mhm~" She murmured. I could tell her eyes were closed without looking, her curly tail uncurled and started swaying tranquilly, enjoying her back rub. I wondered if she could tell my heart was fleeting. It did that every time I came in close contact with Jessy, and this was mega close. I ceased my backrubbing, placing both of our hips together as our upper bodies separated, with I holding her hips and her hands on my shoulders. Then we kissed. Not one of those quick, desperate, oh-my-God-someone-might-be-looking pecks, not an eat-each-other's-tongue-fest, a kiss. Nice, long, lip-to-lip.

Still made me horny though. She sat in my lap, and I shared with her the new songs I'd found. Jessy squealed in delight at the chorus to Such Great Heights, and found out she really liked We Came As Romans now. However, when it came to the 30 Seconds To Mars song, she reprimanded me for not knowing it sooner. Apparently it was nearly a year old? I hadn't heard it on the radios before, only that one Sunkist commercial as well as the VMAs the other night. A quick tickle to her side instantly silenced her with laughter.

"I'm sorry, what was that about me being fat for not knowing the song sooner?" Tickletickle. I loved tickling girls, especially Jessy since she was so ticklish.

She was desperate for air by now, body bent over, face frozen in pure hysteria. Gasping, she managed to get out: "Apollo-!" Gasp. "Stoppit!" Gigglegiggle.

"Take it back." I said with mock-sternness.

"I give!" And I stopped. She gathered her breath about her, and I smiled at her. My beautiful Jessica. Our eyes met, and we kissed one more time.

"How do you carry that bag between classes?" I asked, nodding towards the oversized lump on the table.

Jessy regarded it with disdain. "The curse of being an honor and AP student..."

She saw my ears twitch, this way and that in thought. Then I decided. "I'll carry it to class for you!"

"But...your class and my class are on opposite ends of the school." Jessy said, frowning at me, but I waved it off.

"Even if I am late, my teacher won't be too mad. She's late more than we are anyway." I shrugged. It was true. Mrs. Conner had a habit of being late to first block.

Jessy petted my head, smiling. "Thank you Apollo, you're such a good boy."

I wagged. I can't help it. I loved being petted, and I thought it was kinda cute when Jessy did it. "Yeah I am..." I mumbled, smiling.

The tenderness was shattered by the bell. I hated bells. We stood, I handed her my much lighter bag, and I attempted to lift her monstrosity of a backpack. At first, I underestimated its weight. "Shit..." I grunted as I finally got the straps around my shoulders. I felt like the bag was trying to pull me inside out. "What the hell do you have in here?"

She only giggled. Good enough for me.

Dutifully, I carried her bag all the way to the Lower C wing of the school, waddling awkwardly into her AP English class and setting the bag down triumphantly. I caught more than a few girls looking at me and my ass, but I wandered back outside to collect my bag and my prize for the labor; a sweet kiss and a hug goodbye, for now.

"Bye love." I said tenderly.

"Bye." She squeezed me extra hard to emphasize.

After that, first block was a bit of a blur. I remember being late, but I also remember walking up to the classroom door to find everyone outside. The door was locked, and Mrs. Connor was late, as usual. We sat down, Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance, I was still the only one who actually tried to perform the Pledge, thank you please be seated, announcements, yada yada. Then we went over the homework, and I was pretty sure I'd gotten everything right, if not most of it.

I asked some girls what they thought of my jeans. Most of them said they looked nice. One said black doesn't suit me. Oh well.

After that, the lesson started, and about halfway through, it immediately turned into a train wreck. Mrs. Carson had taught us a fairly simple lesson, and I understood it (I think), but one student misunderstood what she'd said and they went back and forth, back and forth, student trying to make teacher understand she got this but didn't get that, teacher trying to tell student that that meant this and it really was all the same. Then the whole class got into it. And I kept asking people what they thought of my pants.

Math class. The best.

Unsurprisingly, the bell rang quickly, and happy that I'd gotten out of a homework assignment and the burden of an unnecessarily heavy textbook, I bounced down to my locker, passing friends and familiar faces with waves and "Hi!"'s. Swapping out my gigantic math book for my slim and practical Anthropology book, I wandered down the halls towards my next class.

I plugged into my iPod. Seeing Jessy with my FTSK shirt got me in the mood for them and pretty soon my ears were full of the swinging, warm guitar-driven intro to "Woah Oh! (Me Vs. Everyone)". I really wondered how they got such a crunchy tone out of their guitars because that was some great sound. I'd have to learn this song, I decided, sometime later.

Second block was sort of uneventful. My normal teacher had called out to spend some time with his family for his son's birthday. We got this nerdy looking substitute, but he was cool. I probably shouldn't call him nerdy though, since this was Anthropology and I was a bit of a geek myself. We read a four-page field report on a people called the Naciremasu. Never heard of them before, honestly. Sounded African. I started reading it.

Believed the body was naturally ugly and needed ritual cleansing. Had a private shrine in each home where they washed themselves with holy water and magical stuff. Interesting. They went once or twice a year to see a "magic mouth man" that found holes in teeth and filled it with more magic stuff. Dentist? Put hog hairs in their mouth daily to clean it. The sick were brought to a large center where magic men stripped the sick of clothes and they had to poop and pee in a pot so the magic men could examine it to determine health. Gross. It all added up to what I interpreted as a society that wasn't unlike America in a way, they just haven't gotten to our level of advancement yet.

An odd read, I thought, but the next day I'd learn that Naciremasu spelled backwards was Usamericans, or US Americans. Yeah, that blew me away too.

Bell rang. Time for the third block. Straight on to a class that was an English class, but wasn't called an English class, but was still an English class, just having a focus on teenage days. I really liked it 'cause we were reading this book called The Chocolate Wars by Robert Cormier, and after the first chapter I'd decided that it beat the pants off of 1984 and Lord Of The Flies simply because Chapter One made a direct reference to masturbation and that made me giggle. Seriously. The sheer audacity Cormier demonstrated in this book was overwhelmingly hilarious to me. And it was a good read, great writing.

Before long, the bell rang again. Now, with all this rambling, you'd think I'd be off to another boring class that I'd be writing about in exposition, yeah? Nah, I get to leave the school to intern at a garage in town. Lemme explain. My fourth block class is Automotive Technology 2, a seniors-only class meant for student who wanted to go on to be a mechanic. Great program, but I won't bore you with details, other than that seniors are allowed to go out to one shop and do actual work on actual customer's cars.

Pretty cool huh? I thought so, until I met the guy that ran the shop. This man, this technician of infinitely many more years than myself, was the incarnation of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman. Swear to God. When the character died during the premier of Full Metal Jacket, it went straight into the womb of this man's mother. When I first met him, I extended my hand to shake his, to kinda say Oh hey, I'm in highschool, but I'm respectful towards you, the adult, and I'd like you to treat me like an adult in kind.

He didn't even TRY to shake my hand. Any man that knows manlaws knows that weak handshakes can be interpreted as disinterest or disrespect. It wasn't the weak handshake that turned me off on the guy, oh God no, it was the look in his eye. One glance, and I heard Hartman yelling in my own ear: IF YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN, I'M GOING TO UNSCREW YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK.

Now I was kinda scared of the guy. Like, I was afraid that if I sneezed in his general area, he'd yell at me, threaten to gouge out my eyeballs and skullfuck me after a count of three if I didn't disinfect the air immediately. And then he'd kick me out of his shop and I'd never find another one and I'd never get enough training to get a good job and I'd die a hobo.

That's probably being irrational, but whatever. I signed off with the school secretary, into Jessy's car I got and off to work. I was kinda hungry, so I stopped in a Burger King for some food. A bit of no-no in the eyes of the administration, but dammit I was hungry, and the pizza in the school cafeteria looked like dried sperm and glue mixed together and thrown on a cardboard crust.

I ate, felt fat, drank my soda and arrived at the shop. Now I was faced with a dilemma. Wear my stupendously sexy new jeans into a shop lined with an inch of dirt and risk having it not show up on my jeans at all 'cause they were too black, or slip into the usual jumpsuit. Jumpsuits were kinda cool, so I wrestled into that (in the car) and got on boots, then punched in.

I'd go into detail about what EXACTLY I did, but I don't think most people would find rusty drum brake replacement very interesting. Just know there's a lot of parts, a lot of time, and a FUCKTON of swearing.

It was nearly two o'clock when I felt a text message in the folds of my awesome jeans. Of course, I was dirtier than all hell, and I decided it was time to leave since I was only good to work till 2:03, when school got out. I washed my hands, managed to avoid the eye contact of Hartman II, and was out the door soon enough.

Feeling full, confident, happy and pretty fuckin' sexy, I was in the best mood I'd been in a long time. Basically? I was on top of the world. I was feelin' righteous.

Then I read the text message.

Hey I missed the bus back to West, can you come pick me up? :c

The righteous knight in me was appalled. My damsel in distress?! Why, I must rescue her! And I laughed at myself at the picture of me galloping off into the sunset on a white horse (or red Jeep this time), off to save the princess.

I replied shortly. Sure babe <3 Be there in 15

No sooner that I'd sent the message did I get the idea, and I smiled, and got in the Jeep. 17 minutes later, I'd pulled up to the front of the school, and Jessy bounced into the car. "Hi!" I said simply, which she replied with grabbing my muzzle and pulling me in for a kiss. "Mmm, thanks for that." I smirked, and she patted me softly on the side of the snout. Time to pop the question. "Do you wanna come over to my house today?"

Quicker than lighting came her reply. "Yes please!" Her eyes were bright, her tail was rolling in her seat and she posed all cute-like. She was definitely excited, but suddenly deflated. "I have homework though..."

"How much?" I made my way off the school grounds, towards my house.

"A passage to read in the textbook, gotta wrap up an essay, and some other stuff. How were your jeans today?"

I practically moaned. "Sex all over my face!" And she laughed at me. "Seriously though, they were so comfortable. I even caught a couple girls starin'."

Jessy was intrigued, smug. "Ohhh?"

"They didn't touch though, don't worry~"


I decided to start teasing. I fiddle with the iPod a little bit, picking the new Confide song again, and I set it down, then put my hand on her thigh all sneaky-like. Immediately suspicious, she froze, and I could sense the words in her brain: "You'd better not try it, buster."

My hand started sliiiiding up her thigh, nail following the seam and I hadn't moved two inches before Jessy slapped my hand away, sternly informing me that I needed to call my mother for permission to have her over. And she was right. But the tone of her voice also told me, Wait until after my homework is done.

I can be patient.

And like I said. Today was going to be a good day!

Delphi's Paradigm OR Apollo's New Pants (critique requested)


17 November 2012 at 09:02:49 MST

Alrighty, for my first submission to Weasyl, I think we'll go with this one. Not my oldest or my newest piece of work, this started out as a practice in first-person-perspective, and it gradually spun itself into one of my favorite pieces to work on as I was writing it. It's got some music, some chuckles here and there and a little bit of highschool sweetheart romance going on, all wrapped up in a slice-of-life genre.

As the title suggests, inspiration from this story came from a (nearly) identical day at school where I had bought myself a new pair of jeans that actually fit. Not the most /interesting/ topic, haha, but it was fun to write about and most people seem to have enjoyed it.

Some major criticism were the constant name- and brand-dropping, and the hit-or-miss vernacular used in the texting sections, but see for yourself!

Since I've written this story, Apollo isn't really my main character anymore (he's not "me", as I've said before), but he was when I was writing this. So a lot of this is based off of real-life me, with some few key differences, but regardless! I hope you enjoy it!

Submission Information

Literary / Story