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psa: mental illness and "just trying to help" by Jive

something i posted to tumblr because i'm really tired of people acting like being mentally ill means i don't know anything about my illnesses. i just feel like this needs saying.

being offered neurotypical-centric solutions for mental illness symptoms is so frustrating and exhausting.

when i tell you that some simple solution you’re offering won’t work, especially when i’m in the throes of a psychotic break or other serious episode, accept what i’m saying as truth.
don’t try to get information out of me about why; don’t try to make me tell you what about something makes it not useful for me; don’t insist i “try it” before you believe me.

i’ve lived with these illnesses for over 20 years; trust me when i say i know what helps me and what harms me. stop making me explain my experiences to you in order to get you to respect my needs.

psa: mental illness and "just trying to help"

Jive

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    Kaida_Snow

    I will never understand why so many people like to insist that they know more than you do about what goes on in your own head :/
    People hear "mental illness" and seem to think that means we're total invalids and obviously cannot know what's best for ourselves in any way.

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      Jive

      people who don't understand how bpd works are the bane of my existence, honestly
      "regulate your emotions" i CAN'T, my brain literally misfires. i can try to train it not to do that, but that takes a lot of time and i will never master it entirely. i WILL be symptomatic because - surprise! - i'm ill.

      also like:
      "why are you angry?" because my brain is making me angry.
      "don't be mad" o ok that's helpful thank you, now i'm even more mad.

      also: "well you seem fine now" well yes, that's how bpd works
      "you were fine 5 seconds ago!" hello u must be new to bpd let me be your guide

      it's honestly just exhausting.

      • Link

        Kaida_Snow

        Ugh, it infuriates me when people are just like "Hey, what's wrong?"
        "I'm sad."
        "Aw, well don't be!"
        Yes, thank you, I am magically cured now -.-
        Or another favorite is "Aw, why? There's no reason to be sad."
        Yeah, I logically know there's no reason to be sad, but does that stop my brain from making me feel it? Nope.
        Just to clarify, I'm not diagnosed with BPD myself, though I've suspected it and do want to find out... But I do have severe anxiety, depression, slight autism, Tourette's syndrome, and just kinda all around I'm not the healthiest of people. I can definitely relate with some similar situations.

        It is truly exhausting. Especially if you have family that doesn't understand or really try to. My parents spent much of my younger life toting me from doctor to doctor and hospital to hospital, and learned a bit about what's going on with me along the way, but they still think it just works like a switch and that I can "just get over it".

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    Folklore

    Ugh, I feel you. I've had almost everyone I meet do this to me and it more damaging than helping someone with mental illness..

    • Link

      Jive

      this is why i have so few friends. because most people just will not listen, and i have no time for that nonsense these days.

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    RoboGenko

    A truly relatable post. Especially when it comes to symptoms like executive dysfunction, trying to explain it is nearly impossible to some people. They just don't get it and merely offer the simplest of solutions. Like, do these people really think their common truisms are helpful? Like, oh you're totally right, I don't need medication or therapy, you telling me to smile more and to 'just do it!" totally fixed the problem. I...???

    I empathise with the frustration.