Things have changed since the last journal.

I can slowly breath out anew even thought I still take antidepressive meds. The papers with the insurance company went through and are now officially sick early retired person ... so kinda yay in that part and not having to worry any longer.
The stress and worry started 3 years before this process since I had problems and talk from the company already at 2008 that they might do that option with me since they couldn't figure out my problems .... which sent me taking tests and finding out that I have aspergers and phobia with people that goes stronger the more stressed I am and got put into the med journals 2009.
-.-

So in a way ... I can cry out in relief now even tho I know I will never get the same amount as one that been able to work and that is only fair, heck I didn't even get to a job interview even tho I tried my best.
I know it puts away many options which are only available when you have a steady income as traveling to other places ... always wanted to visit a coral ref or learn how to scuba dive. Or just simple see friends outside the country I live in.

Still have to get back into drawing on my own and finish the commissions that have been waiting to be done and I am really sorry about that.

And last part .... back to being single again, it didnt work out so well, to different opinions and how to deal with stress and many other things that made stuff grew irritation between both of us ....but are still friends even if each opinion is not always shared in the same light.