It's about to get close, but in less than a month (November 20th), I'm turning 23 years old this year! :D

To be honest, my birthdays are not too important for most people, most likely because I'm not very decent of an artist nor a person. I am turning 23 this year, but I have a feeling I'm going to have a bad birthday this year. I have gone through way too much negativity all year and I'm still feeling pretty negative right now, so I doubt it would get better on a positive note anytime soon. Besides, I have been a Deviant for, like, five years or so, and I have improved on my works and my characters a lot, but I still have a bad reputation that makes me look like I'm some kind of joke or something. I mean, my style may have improved greatly within the past few years, but my reputation on being seen as a legitimate artist stays the same, still kinda bland, like always. I'm sorry I've been down in the dumps lately, but I still have the horrible feeling I think I'm a good artist when I'm actually a bad artist and vice versa, or maybe that's just me who think's his own art is bad, but is actually pretty good. Okay, my stuff is actually pretty good, but I have a lack of self-esteem.

I doubt I would be appreciated as a legitimate artist and photographer. Yes, my photography is gorgeous, my art is great, and my characters are pretty cool, just to be a bit more humble upon myself, but I have received far less feedback than expected. For not having the appreciation of the audience I thought I might expect, either I'm kinda bad at my talents or my good works must be REALLY underrated, and that especially applies to my own photography. I have been a prolific photographer since 2012. My photography may look pretty, but immensely unappreciated; I apologize for the self-promotion, but that is true.

Okay, fine, my artwork, characters, and photography are all great, but it's maybe because of my incredibly negative self-esteem that prevents me from an increased audience (or maybe was it because of the diaper fetish, but let's not talk about that because at least I'm not an adult baby). Whatever makes me incredibly unappreciated, I'll take whatever reason (but no insults >:U).

Whatever you do, DO NOT post a comment on this journal regarding my concerns for my 23rd birthday. If you would like to talk about it with me, please send me a note and we shall discuss this in private. Like I said, do not comment, just send me a note.

I do have other concerns I have a bad feeling about, but that's just something you would rather send me a note in case you want to know more about it. I should be expressing more of my concerns in private, via notes.

One last time, don't comment on this journal, just send me a note and we'll talk.

However ...

... if you have something good and positive to say about me, you're more than welcome to drop a comment here on this very journal, but there's still the "send me a note" option if you'd rather do that instead.

One more thing, if you're not familiar with my photography, this is the photography I usually do.

http://botanical-beaver.tumblr.com/