Hello, Weasyl!

I'm still not where I want to be mentally, and I'm regretfully behind where I even need to be to "scrape by" like I used to.
It's strange seeing how far I've slid back, I have a lot of days where it's difficult to handle my own shame. I've had friends come by to say hello and I end up in tears just because of the simple question "so what did you do today?". It hurts to look at the past 10-12 hours and realize the answer is "nothing" in spite of the plans I had.

I'm back on ADD medication and find that it helps as long as I actually start my work. Once it kicks in, I feel kind of like my old self again, I sit through it and work and work and work like I used to. It's actually a rush to not feel boredom(??) tearing my attention away from something I need to work on every 40 seconds.

I'm still embarrassed of myself. I still really want to change. It feels like it's getting harder and harder to get better.

But I'm still trying, and I'm still taking new steps every day.
I turned over my passwords to sites I visit a lot to a trusted friend, it's stopped me accessing them better than a blocking program/app has.
I'm hoping to break the core habits that exacerbate my ADD.

So I'm sorry, if you're reading this and you see me more on other sites (tumblr, Flight Rising) I'm doing my best to get back on track.