I am healthy, I am alive and I am pushing through all this current stress.

First of commissions came to a halt last week due to job applications, family issues and restocking of materials. I'm currently sketching commissions in progress and that haven't been started; I'll resume coloring over the week and only sketching over the weekend to follow through on my original schedule.

Last Friday as a parting celebration my Mom took my brother and I to Disneyland since I am moving quite soon, I have a few interviews lined up this month and the next. I am excited yet terribly worried as I try to get all the pieces in place.

Those who've been keeping up with my journals my Dad had left and he came back a month or so ago, the time frame in my head is all off. I'm struggling with keeping in check and trying to maintain a healthy positive attitude but I'm pushing through because I'd rather have hope than nothing at all. As far as anything else goes I'd rather not get into the inner workings of how my Dad has been acting as of late so aside from that being in a relationship for 2 years has been a very enriching experience.

2 years to some (my age or not) may not seem like much but my relationship has pretty much been the only guiding light in my life currently. There's always going to be doldrums and null moments but never have I doubted my partner in his word nor his beliefs. Things have been great so far and I'm more than willing to want to move for him, for my myself and for the strengthening of the relationship. You learn a lot about yourself when you're not the only one who has a certain set of goals, ambitions, core beliefs and values to consider, what you do and how you handle dilemmas all contributes to the relationship as a whole. I'm not afraid to admit that I know what love is and I'm damn well going to keep it reinvigorated for as long as I'm able.

I feel mature although I'm merely 21, I know what I want even though I know nothing, and I'm not going to give up because I'm told I won't make it.

This is the year I start to live my life.