I just want to thank everyone who's been so patient with me lately. I know I wasn't working before because I was taking a few days to be with my family for easter weekend,I was planning to go back to working on monday but with the sudden death of my cat on easter I'm just having trouble motivating myself to do anything other then play my 3ds and do mindless animal crossing tasks. I know I went straight back to work when two of my aunts died last year,but I kept wondering why I was able to just go back to working. .well it's because I didn't live with them. I can ignore bad thoughts pretty fine (ish) but I dont have any memories of them in my house so it's pretty easy to just push the bad thoughts out of my head, but with my cat it's. . harder. I have too many memories of him in my house,in the backyard and now with the rosebush my mom planted where they buried him it's harder. I dont want to admit to her but I wish she planted it AWAY from where we sit,maybe lke the side of the house or something, I hate seeing it it upsets me so much because hes under there and I just want him alive. I never dealt with death well it upsets me to my core but I do pretty fine with ignoring it. . if i dont have constant reminders that just send me into bits of depression where I cant sleep/eat or do anything other then desperately use video games to distract me.

I'm sorry everybody, I will get back to work this week I dont know which day. I will just stay in my room all day without leaving and then i'll be able to ignore the sadness and get back to work or something.

Love you all -Dandy