Sometimes, people say I'm amazing. Some people wish they could draw like I could. Sometimes they get depressed, and sometimes people want to be as half as good as I was. The truth is, there is a story, not always glorious, behind the colors, ink, pencil, and paper. There is a story behind the idea that created that image. I was never born a natural, not as a natural artist at least. Someone led me here, and led me like a hungry dog asking for scraps of food.

My whole life, I lived behind the shadow of a prodigy, and with my gender came higher expectations of me. I was born into a somewhat large family and naturally I was competitive. Everything I saw was a competition, a race, and I am never truly inspired by anything.... Rather, I see something great, and I want to make something similar, but improve on it. So, all my life, I lived along this prodigy, and all my life I had tried, with every single thought bent to competition. Competing with everyone, my siblings, friends, and when I failed to be good at what others were talented at, it made me sad. When people say to me that they could never be good at something, it irritates me, somewhat. They say it so casually, as if they took no time or thought to dedicate anything to drawing or sports, etc. Because I spent my whole life, trying to outdo someone a thousand times better than me, someone who could think faster, smarter, and draw better than I ever could. I chased this person with no thoughts or ideas of my own, and when I asked why I couldn't draw as great as this person could the response was, "You have no imagination"

I have tried singing, music, drawing, and academics... gave it my all, and at the same time failed at all of them. All the things I did could amount to nothing compared to this person. My achievements, strength of will, all of it thrown aside. Was it my own competitive nature to lead me down the path of depression? Or was it my nature to be depressed?

There were tears, I cried, and got myself up. And so, I tried. I tried harder than I ever could, but I focused my strength on one subject as opposed to all subjects. Soon, I found myself in the furry fandom, while not an entirely inspired fandom by any means, it was a fandom I could identify myself with. Strangely enough, none of the interests really originated from the porn, just the interest making and sharing stories/art/music related with the fandom.

And for any of you wondering.... my fursona is a wallet >;3