DISCLAIMER
(This is mostly me getting my thoughts out, and explaining more about my mood/situation. You are NOT required by any means to read this)

To those that don't know, I suffer from chronic depression. And it causes me to think about a lot of things, but mostly what I'm doing wrong. I feel as though no matter what, I don't matter to people. I make an effort to go out and be around people, and am usually met with being ignored in favor of significant others, or just other people in general who aren't me. I don't do anything for days at a time, and people automatically assume I'm fine, which is pretty much the opposite. I can't muster up the energy to do anything at all on those days, and spend most of them sleeping or just staring at random things online without actually paying attention. I know there are going to be people who are going to say "You do matter", or "Things will get better", but that really doesn't make this feeling go away. Mostly because I do not FEEL as though either of those things are true.

Granted, a lot of the depression stems from loneliness in general, and unrequited love in the most extreme of cases, as well as my current financial and familial situations. I will not go into detail regarding my past, but I did not enjoy my childhood, and am pretty much squandering away my adult years as well. It becomes hard to do even the most basic of things, like getting up, and I have no desire to even attempt to seek out entertainment, as it often leaves me feeling unfulfilled as well.

Point being: That is usually the reason activity is limited; motivation is not there, and even when it is, the result is far too disappointing to show anyone.