[Part 1]
As life goes...im still pretty much alive. Im just thankful that I am even though I have to struggle to make money for food. I am thankful for those who have given me a chance to make life a bit more bareable through their genrosities.

For the last few months, it has been really hard, and only gonna get harder if things keep going the way they are now. Having my earned money on food hasnt allowed me to save for bills....Isa got his hours cut, and may get cut more after he starts school....

Im between a rock and a hard place as I have to rely on my art to make money every month...between being sick and injured because of poor health, having to be a parent, and life in general, I have regretfully fallen behind in my work and can no longer keep adding on to a pile that is about to fall on my head. Mistake: In a despiration to make food funds 2 months ago and months after, I had amassed many commissions and before those were done, I added more as THAT money ran out.....now it has become a really vicious cycle that wont end. Now I have people upset with me because results arnt being done and I keep doing other things before.

I see my mistake and I am TRYING to fix it.....but what am I to do while Im working on what I have, no cash flow, what I am to do? Let my kid starve because of a stupid mistake? "I'm hungry..." is a heartbreaker to me to hear from my son's mouth every other day...i CANT let him be hungry, he HAS to eat...and in a despiration, I had more to the pile of work I have to do. I have to eat to maintain what strenth I have to need to do what I gotta do, and the same with Isa. Isa and my son eat more than I. Just about the only time I really get to eat is when I go to my folks place or when my best friend comes over and picks me up to go out to eat....other than that, I eat what I can. Here in the end, this has made me sick and weak, it gets worse every day as it starts to get colder.

Im not asking for handouts anymore.....if people wanna give, they can, in not then so be it. Times are hard, as giving up isnt really an option for me, which Im not, but I am going to wave my white flag for now.....LIFE, you sunovabitch, you won this battle...but not the war. I'll play your game for now, push myself to work in your mines, but Ill be back and when I do, Im gonna kick your fucking ass and stomp a mud hole in you...even if it kills me.

[Part 2]
I have decided to log out of everything and kinda go away for a few days to work on what I got.

Commissioners, check my queue list for updates as to what I am working on if you are curious, BUT if you got any questions or concerns I can be reached here
BleufoxArtProductions[at]gmail.com

Commission queue: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5912727/

[Part 3]

The "few day" hiatus i mentioned in previous journals just turned into possibly a week or more.....

To those i have commissions to do for...I am working on them as fast as I can to get them out before the end of the month.

My mind is wanting to work against me and cause my anxiety to spike really high which is debilitating for me. but im trying my best to fight it off so i can get it done..

Again any questions/concerns about current commissions are to be forwarded to BleufoxArtProductions[at]gmail.com

I really dont want to ask but if anyone wants to donate so to help my family with food, gas, and bills for the time being, my payment emails are as follows:

Paypal: BleufoxArtProductions[at]gmail.com
Google Wallet: rachelmcox87[at]gmail.com

I cant guarantee anything in return anymore but you do have my heart-felt thanks.