if you read my last journal, you'd know I was pretty upset at my friend about him going back on his word about getting me the new Smash Bros game

I was going to confront him to tell him how I feel, but I noticed he posted a status saying he was really upset and didn't want to talk to anyone (actually that's putting it nicely, he actually said "I'm done, f*** off people, I'm not talking to anyone")

my initial reaction was "oh no, did he see my journal? but how is that possible? he doesn't frequent art sites" so I attempted to talk to him but of course he didn't want to talk

the nest day he wanted to know if we could hang out and I agreed, eventually he told me why he was so upset, and it's because everything in his life was catching up to him, how his dog is going to die, how is grandpa is dying of ALS, heck even his girlfriend is in the hospital with only a month to live, and how his parents have treated him, how he's pretty much homeless, how he has to be away from all his friends for the next 6 years because of JobCorp, etc, etc

he said he hit such a low, he even called the suicide hotline, strangely enough though, the line was busy... yea.. the suicide hotline was busy, even the chat made him wait until they found a volunteer to talk to him he says, of course he didn't stay that long, he was pretty much done at that point

I don't think he's going to attempt suicide again, after his 3rd attempt on his life, he said he had learned his lesson and would never try that again, and I believe him, he was sent to a mental hospital and some ranch like thing that he absolutely hated for like a year and a half, and was even raped by some guy there too, another patient not a doctor in case you were wondering, I guess it doesn't matter, rape is rape, but still

but here I am getting all worked up about some game I can just buy with my next paycheck, while he's over there suffering, I mean, how pathetic am I?

ugh, I can never complain about anything can I? I have it good compared to most, so complaining about anything just makes me sound like an a-hole doesn't it?

this is why I rarely vent and just let these things bottle up inside me, cause trust me there's a whole lot more I'd like to vent about but.. screw it, I'll just let it bottle up, cause no one wants to hear it, everyone has their own problems, ones that are way worse than mine