I'm a menace... Hehe.
I somehow managed to jam the cord into the tablet so hard that it split open.
So the screws that you would normally have to remove to open it up were near impossible to unscrew but I managed with some anger and more violence. Everything looked fine so I closed it back up and and tried replugging it. No dice, the port is broken so the cord won't connect half the time :C
On the bright side the whole ordeal appears to have kicked my wireless adapter back to like... sorta.. It shuts off every time I use the keyboard.
Man I never knew I was abusing the Ctrl+Z so much. Hahahaaaaa... orz
Just shoot me.