I will be trying to avoid the internet as much as possible this weekend and thereafter. I have a very big project due the Friday of next week (June 6th). In order to get it done in a timely fashion with no rush, I have to do one thing on it each day in order to split it into parts so I don't end up feeling overloaded and pressured. I am really honestly trying to work on my time management. I've been getting more and more dis-organized as Summer approaches, but I'm trying to fight back as of right now. I am having a good start so far since I have made up some things and I will be talking to my Biology teacher tomorrow about what I am missing for her class(Which hopefully isn't much). After the project my finals start on June 10th. So let's just say I will be gone for the next two weeks.
I'm so sorry, guys. I'd love to stick around and make more art for you all, not only for those who enjoy it, but for my enjoyment too. I want to do more art, I really do! I just can't find the time of motivation to.. Despite all of that, though; I notice more than ever how this is all affecting me. Half the time I am on here it isn't even for a particular reason other than chatting. I am usually not doing anything productive. I want to change this. I want to change it all. Change it all for the better. I really want to turn over a new leaf. Hopefully I will be ready to. There are also self-improvement goals I will be adding to that list of tasks and goals as well. I don't want to yell anymore. It drives me insane. I don't want to. Tuesday I experienced the worst of my own yelling. I don't want to go through it all again. I don't want to give people a reason to be angry at me. I actually do not yell frequently. Or.. I didn't used to.. But now I have been feeling pressured out of my mind, so if I feel threatened or mildly frustrated I'll start raising my voice a bit. Eventually, if the conversation gets deep enough to switch something, I'll get terribly defensive and lash out with all my might--not physically, but from the mind. For example, I called my mom, "Psychotic." on Tuesday.
Yes, I understand that's a pretty deep and rude thing to say to her, but at this point I know it's true. Even her boyfriend agrees with me. There's something wrong and she refuses to admit. A few weeks ago she pointed her finger to my face for almost "ruining her relationship" with her boyfriend, saying, "I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL KILL YOU!" She had her teeth gritted as she said this, so it came out rather harshly. So that was the reason I called her psychotic that day. That and many, many other reasons.
Anyway, this is my goodbye for a good two weeks. I will no longer have an excuse to have to leave school early. Not even for bad days. That will not longer be an excuse, no matter how bad I am feeling.
Yes, I speak of bad days because this week has not been a walk in the park for me, that's for sure.
Tuesday sucked after school.
Wednesday sucked during school.
Thursday sucked in the morning and not to mention in general because I hate Thursdays.
And God only knows how Friday will be. I pray won't suck the motivation to do work out of me, no matter what.

Well, that's is for now. I wish you all luck on your own finals, and if you are already on your Summer Vacation, then I hope you have a lot of fun and go to lots of places and meet lots of new people!
Thank you all for reading this.

See you all in two weeks!

NOTE: I WILL NOT RESPOND TO ANY COMMENTS ON THIS JOURNAL OR ANYWHERE ELSE. I WILL NOT GET ONLINE FOR ANYTHING.