I think I've never been freer my whole existence among the community. I was doodling with a special fellow of mine, by special I mean whom I respect not to give out his name and to top it off he's starving for improvements as I. He's the only one as far as I know who is dear and generous enough to donate and is willing to commission me. All year I was ashamed to have only one person to commission me, until I came to my senses. I don't think I am meant to do commissions as of yet, for I have no inkling of electronic transactions and stuff, and I still don't have the advantage (can't brave up to it). That's why I'm willing to do trades. Why I wasn't meant for commissions: NOBODY else but a few dared. I may as well declare my Bambi Point Commissions project as a failure. Saying this now brings me to shame and to this fit causing notion, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em". I'm also willing to keep doing gift art for a fellow member or group or organization whose characters catch my eye. I may say "why bother doing commissions now when I have to create, crest, create, CREATE~! I may be torturing myself to abuse my well-being. I may be dirt poor, a working-class peasant. I am proud of my labor! Who would want to pay that much for pixels?
Anyway, to the point, I spent some quality time worthy of sketching. it taught me things: they have unique background and reflection of their artistic abilities, I have to build a circle of friends, and that there is so much to learn. So I must have heart and patience to follow an experience artist and not feel guilty for not having the same outdoor experience as that artist, no matter how grand their adventure was.